Little Black Book

Yes. A legendary weekend it most definitely was. Cast: Kurian (a.k.a DJ Nairuk) Dominic (a.k.a Dogilivy) Abdul (a.k.a Bachu) Asif (a.k.a ass-if-ek bal) Me (a.k.a That Only) Introducing: Jatin (a.k.a Gita) Mahesh (a.k.a Makila) Furquan (a.k.a Furki a.k.a Fucki) Location : Apt # 301 Title : Spartans - The next Rising. Scene:Friday morning at the spartan Dwelling Things are as usual going pretty smooth, I wake up and have my smoke and drink some coke to ensure that my teeth are whiter than white, and its already late than the usual time Dominic and me go down to catch the rick, and Asif feels that I should atleast take a bath, since I had a interview to go to. The catch being the decibel levels where high enough to give any opera singer a complex, which did not go down to well with somebody who is so not a morning person. So exercising my infamously famous patience I keep quiet and I venture out to take care of the interview. Scene: Playing of the Tom-Tom's (Old Jungle Saying " w...

This part of my life is called as Happyness. You have seen me go through different parts of life, failure, heartbreak, living it large. But nothing comes even remotely close to this feeling. This feeling of happiness. I just received my offer letter from Hansa Research, a market research company. Now I am the Senior Research Associate. I have dreamed about happiness in the form of marital bliss, coming home to a loving wife (which is a big question mark) and if i looked far enough into the future to the sounds of Armaan and Tamanna shouting Daddy's home. Like I said really far into the future. But since all this is out of the window and into the city's sewer along with other shit floating around and maybe somebody unfortunate may find them and find solace and may even bless me for letting it go. ( Hope the bastard does this basic courtesy, you know who you are :P ) . Though like everything in life this to comes at a price and a catch. The price and the catch being that I will b...

Well me quite like the scene by scene narration style. Me shall continue with that. Tuesday Afternoon: Get a call from Gopal asking me to keep myself free for tommorrow night. Dinner party. His dad is going to be in town. Now for a man whose been starved for good food for sometime not because it ain't available but because I haven't been able to tell what exactly my fine palate requires. So I tell him cool. Was supposed to go for tuesday's party along with Gopal and his classmates, but decided to take a rain-check on it. ( Din I mention that am kinda slightly busy right now in life and don't have time for women and partying right now). Wednesday Morning: Have to go for another interview, ( I like to have options and then screw my head up my arse trying to decide on one option). Anyway as usual those people love me. ( Wonder what is that people who are taking my interview love me so much for anyway). Anyway am not taking up that offer. Couple of reasons: a) I will be mov...

I know. A lot of you people will find this video and the lyrics not upto to your sense and sensibilities. But does it really look like I give a fuck about it. But you have to admit Tenacious D is absolute GOLD. G-FUCKING_ENIUS. Not the best song by them. But definitely one of the greatest. =) fuck her gently - Click here for more blooper videos This is a song for the ladies But fellas listen closely You don't always have to fuck her hard In fact sometimes that's not right to do Sometimes you've got to make some love And fuckin give her some smoochies too Sometimes ya got to squeeze Sometimes you've got to say please Sometime you've got to say hey I'm gonna Fuck you softly I'm gonna screw you gently I'm gonna hump you sweetly I'm gonna ball you discreetly And then you say hey I bought you flowers And then you say wait a minute sally I think I got somethin in my teeth Could you get it out for me That's fuckin teamwork Whats you...

I'm through with standing in line, to the clubs i'll never get in, Its like the end of the tunnel, and there is no sign of promised light, This life hasn't turned out quite the way I want it to be Ask me: tell me what you want? I want a couple of hundred brand new Apts, Showcase them on an episode of cribs, And a bathroom I can play football in And a king size tub big enough for ten plus me ask me: yeah,so what you need? I'll need a, a credit card that's got no limit And a big black jet with a bedroom in it Gonna join the mile high club At thirty-seven thousand feet I want a city named after me stamps released with my face on it And my name to be mentioned in the same breadth as sexy and hot, so ask me: So how ya gonna do it? I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame I'd even cut my hair and change my name 'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars Live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap We'll all ...

You Are Destined to Rule the World You have the makings of a very evil dictator... Which is both kind of cool and kind of scary! Will you rule the world? Maybe. Maybe not. But at least you know that you could. Are You Destined For World Domination?

So my career move has gotten me thinking about a lot of mundane things which I normally would like to brush under the carpet. 1. New office: is another 4 KM away from my prev work place, so that kicks up the commuting cost. 2. New Pay Package: Though am getting ample saving options in this new pay package, I will be getting lesser money on hand than what I was getting previous to this, so that kinda restricts my splurges. 3. I will have to settle off the advance of my apt this month. All in all kind of leaves me in deep shit this month and the next couple of month, till I can use some of the saved money. Here are the following solutions which are scary and difficult but not impossible. 1. no booze. Knocks out about 500. Thats like 3 full bottles of rum. Scary bit: I really donno how I am going to manage the loneliness stayin sober. Its gonna be bad. Real bad. Scary. Trust me. 2. No buying smokes. Let me be very clear. Am not buying smokes, that does not mean am quitting smoking. I just...

I was browsing. As usual, when I came across this " http://bluebirdsinging.blogspot.com " blog where the woman had answered this questions. Not only was the blog funny, but it was also nostaligic in more ways than one. Bought back memories of filling up slam books not that I was a big fan of them or I am one, but you know the whole thing had its own kick as to who is offered their slam books to whom and so on and so forth. So here is my shot at it. With the permission of the author. Smoked a cigarette?: There is no past tense in this one. If the question had been Are you smoking a cigarette? then Hell Yea! =P Crashed a friend's car?: I don drive. But my friends have crashed other friends car and one time I was lucky I was there. Been in love?: All the time. Been dumped?: Every single time. ( well there are always exceptions :D) Shoplifted?: Isn't that why people go to shops? Been in a fist fight?: Yup! Was Bloody fun. Sneaked out of your parent's house?: Er... whi...

Olrite. This is my all time Top 5 rock Bands. Its me list. I know you guys will have a bone to pick after this. But fuck you. You are welcome to drop in your top 5 list. 1. Metallica (thank.) : It was by far the biggest band to have a single most influencing presence in me life. The best part is that all their songs are malleable in nature. 2. Pearl Jam (thanks to naru): Love the voice, which sings from the bottom. Has helped me cope shit in me life. Has seen through me through the shittest of time. 3. Audio Slave: All time fav. Everything is awesome about it. 4. Linkin Park: Nobody puts teenage angst in better rhyme and rhythm. 5. Tenacious D: Should watch them and listen to them to realise the genius called JACK BLACK.

Once there was superman, And like all heroes he had a super love story, But then he had to leave and save the planet, And so he left from the pages of the greatest love story ever… Once there was this girl who, Fell sick quite often, superman was in love with her, Superman dreamt dreams about her until, Batman took her away, And so she left from the pages of the greatest love story ever… Once there was this girl who, Fell in love with superman, Superman was no longer a man with a heart, The girl used to dream dreams about superman, Heartbroken to find super man no longer a man, And so they left the pages of the greatest love story ever, But both the girls were glad, because, Superman had it more bad. Cause Once there was this girl, Who was in love with superman, Superman was man again, they dreamt dreams of each other, And then she had to leave to chase her dreams, Superman offered to fly her but after sometime, She lost patience, and...

No that is not the secret code of some JDC ( for those of you who aren't clued in on the most happening things in life, JDC stands for Jaw dropping cute woman) am currently linked pro-creatively ( ironically am not seeing anybody) anyway point being. I love me job. Its fucking A(wesome). Tips for the people who are looking out for the next big thing to hit street fashion. 1. Ties: Yes Tee outside - shirt inside and a Tie. Trust me on this one. Start rampaging through your dad or any other father figures you may have. 2. Catch phrase: " Its all happening". 3. Movie to be trend setter of year 07: Om Shanti Om. Trust me on this one. And women retro is in. Hair curling on your cheeks like a mughal painting is so fucking in that I think i have a boner. Note: When stressed, pick out the choicest abuse and let it rip. Interesting thing to note, the most best ones are all the ones with Bi-syllables in it. Check it out the next time you get fucking pissed off. (notice fuck-ing, pi...

So here I am , listening to yahoo launch cast (music acts like a stimulant for me hyper active brains), and am wondering " Hmmm! so what can I blog on? ". So I turn around and ask me colleague " dude tell me a topic to blog about?". He says "Biscuits" contentedly. So Biscuits it is. Now when me was young and was used to watch movies and the Greatest stars ever alive where Mithun Chakravarthy and Govinda and Gold Biscuits were smuggled between the sweat pores present on the lean and mean police force (wonder why they show the Cops having rotund tummies, what kind of image does that show the Bollywood ignorant savant that we starve our cops by not giving them food and money??? Tsk... Tsk). Coming back to biscuits, Gold biscuits to be more precise, I always used to ask around where the (fuck) you get these (though me did not know the existence of the bi-syllable curse words back then)? And nobody knew it and I gave up hope. Probably explains why am not too ke...

And it fucking hurts!!!! AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean i have drank till I have puked my guts out over the commode, I have drank till I have passed out, I have drank so much that I couldn't get Mr. Willy up, but none of them left me with a hangover which people keep complaining about, the ones where your head is the stage for a bunch of african tribal dance with the Tom-Toms passing on some ancient jungle message to the Ghost who walks. So let's try and play Sherlock Holmes and find the cause for it. If you wondering what I had like that, well here were the contents: 2 nos. Pitchers of beer (I still hate beer, it still smells like piss and looks like it.) Countless Rum and Coke. I had a Chicken Kebab Katti Roll for dinner with loads of Raitha, and then I was playing UNO. And I did go to bed (slumped is closer) around 0130 hrs. But I woke up back again to find there is no current (foine! power for all you NRI wannabe chuths) with the biggest h...

Date: 15/09/07 So the 5 spartans residents of sparta Apt # 301 decided in their monthly general body meeting that we needed to get ourselves cots (i prefer to call them as beds) and show rack. Now what was supposed to be a job whose objective should have been met within the first few minutes the sparta's hit the shopping market turned into a wussy job save for me. Now I have always found shopping to be fun as long as it does not involve bargaining, I find bargaining stressful. And I have found the distaste towards shopping all because of me beautifully irritating and stupid mum ( that is just me personal opinion, I know people who will swear she is the re-incarnation of einstein herself). I have found mum bargaining and winning bargains. Quick ex: she found a awesome coral set down at the beaches of goa, and she wanted to get hands on it. But. Slight problem, the asking price for that was 1500 INR, and if you look at the piece you can bet your fav pair of red superman boxers ( i ha...

Well there was this lame arse story we guys used to say to each other back in School. And it went like Ek Tha Raja, Ek thi Rani, Dono Mar gaye Khatam Khani. Well today am going to fill in between all these lines. Once upon a time, there was a Raja, he was betrothed to a beautiful queen. But unfortunately/fortunately the queen thought the king was a mighty bore and decided to elope with her chambermaid (you did not expect my story to be without the usual masala now did you, yes she was a lesbian sigh! lesbians are so hot, anyway.) So he was well fucked up. And he really was thinking why is a king and asking questions about everything and anything. Trying to figure out his life. Though the lesbian queen was a real good friend of his, she told him how immature he was and how needs to grow up and how she had waited patiently for him to do all that and then she lost it and finally turned lesbian ( according to her he was the best in bed doing all the things described in outer space sex whic...

Well everybody has their own bunch of weird arse theories about whether a relationship can work or not. I have mine. And it is called the fart theory. If I have been in a relationship with you and/or really liked you, then you would have been in a fellow participant in the fart theory. Well the origins of this theory is not known, but if I remember vaguely it came into existence sometime in the months of Jan-feb of the year 2004. The Fart Theory: its simple actually. You will have a successful relationship if both the guy and the girl/guy can fart in the presence of each other without having to be perturbed by the fact that they are in the company of somebody they really like a lot, and think are considerably hot and think that by letting one rip they are going to reduce their chances of happily ever after. This also shows that, there is no formality in the relationship. We all know formality is fine with certain people, people with whom you think are can be very used as somebodies ars...

Well, How do I begin this one? Am just crossing my fingers that by writing this am not jinxking anything, because I have had a lot of false starts. Oh trust me on that. And that is exactly even though am caught in a mire of emotions am fucking guarded about my emotions right now. And i definitely do not want to talk about the other false starts here. But what am going to talk about is not what I feel, but how much I think the person is worth. I mean a lot of people want people to tell them what they are truly worth. I know. There are very few things which decides the worth of a person. The cause for what he lays his/her life for. The reason for what he lives his life. And the lives he/she has given a reason to live for. Well, this is for you. Yes you. The person who was caught in conundrum of emotions and asking questions and feeling shitty because there were no answers with you. You were asking questions as to how to get yourself a job, which will pay off your loan, which will give yo...

I can't quite recollect as to the last time when I prayed to god. In the way people, the masses tend to, I can't recollect when was the last time I found solace in having conversation with thin air and seeking answers and feeling good about the whole exercise. Last evening, I wasn't feeling good, not in the I-need-to-shit-but-I-cant-find-a-loo kind of way, I was feeling fucked in the heart and mind. And on my way back home, in the auto and in the bus I was thinking its time that I need a god in my life, somebody I could pray to, and I was wondering why do I feel the need now, how have I been managing all these years? And then the answer bought a nice small smile. The kind of smile which is just powerful enough to warm the cockles of your heart and turn the corners of your lips skywards. PREETHI. Now, if somebody asked to name one good reason as to why am alive and do the things that i do, the answer is Preethi. Now without going into the details of my sorry past which I car...