Little Black Book

Well the picture says it all doesn it. My love affair with the cancer stick started in december 01, and it has continued till now, and i loved every single moment i spent with it. It had everything i can ever expect of a girl. From the strong fragrance, which mentally stimulated my senses, eased my thoughts when i went in my trademark brain fucking sessions, even though I knew it is gonna fuck me up like any other girl later on, I was jus in too much in love with it. It was what certain people like to refer as addiction and what i would love to term it as obsession. I started not because of peer preasure or any other whole load of crap people generally talk about. It was the chemistry few people experience in their lifetime with somebody else. Its touch, the feel, the kiss.... everything about it was soooo perfect. I never had to bother about not paying too much attention, or be dejected that it wasn't there when i need it the most cause it is just too busy to find time for me. F...

Ah! I don't understand peoples growing disinterest in hindi movies, I mean they are being looked upon as something cheap and prefer artsy movies or english movies. I mean cmon gimme a break. No seriously, the entire formula masala movies were so good. You knew what to expect, you din go to a movie because you were tired of guessing wat the story is gonna be, you went in to watch a movie, cos of the songs, the classy fights, the melodramatic dialogues. I mean seriously hindi movies are always loaded with such socio-economic messages, people are just too snot nosed not to accept that they don't get the messages. They act like the emperors new cloths. Ok! what you don believe me? Sample this dialogue which has proved more effective than all the sex education which kids in america recieve. Scene when the villain and the heroine engage in pre-marital sex, shit is inevitable to hit the ceiling villian : mein tumhe chod ( pun intended, chod is both for screwed and leaving depends on h...

Hours before ( 16 hours to be precise ) me had my last smoke. And yes i had written about this earlier but the last time around I succumbed to the whole i need nicotine now phase pretty quick. And i have to tell you that i have a new found respect to those who have been moderate to heavy smokers and have quit. They probably went through the same things whcih am going through now. I decided that am going to document each day and charter my progress. At the moment, my head is splitting, and my eyes are watering due to some irritation. My mouth is feeling damn dry even though I have been drinking water and right now sucking on a candy. There is this huge urge for me to go and buy myself a pack of cigarettes and smoke them out till am feeling alright. But me won't do. Anyway am not stepping out of the office anywhere. Me gonna be sitting in my cabin all day long. Though I really don't know as to why i want to quit smoking this time. Considering the fact that am feeling shitty as sh...

Well, day 2. And honestly i feel miserable. I don like the fact that it is making feel like a woman pms'in. I mean sure it is nothing compared to the pain, but everything else is the same. Nish would know all about being the prime witness to all the mood swings. In the last 24 hours here is how I have worsened. 1. My mouth still feels dry. Even after drinking truckloads of water. Keeping candy or chewing gum. 2. My head still continues to hurt. Me think its begining to rattle now. Not a good sign I should say. 3. I crib and whine like a pussy. And I don't even realise that am doing all this till i saw my roomies expression 4. Normally am a hugger and a arm over the shoulder person but from yesterday, the slightest physical contact irritates me. 5. Did I mention my head hurts? 6. I start to think about things which make me laugh and the very next moment they start to mind fuck me. 7. Hate getting out of bed, feel awfully tired. Now I know how women feel when they having that tim...

Say or want to quit smoking. I mean sure I had fought the battle against my best friend. But in the end you really cant stay away from friends now can you. And i realised the hard and embarrassig way as to how much I need my friend. Cigarettes. Anyway so there I was Gtalkin with people and orkutting as always in office. And i donno wat happened next. It was well over 48 hours since I last smokes a cigarette, and like i mentioned my head was splitting bad. Anyway Me was supposed to meet up with my friends. And they been calling me up. Like 10-15 times and i did not know about it. WHY??? Cos i had fucking passed out. Beat that. 48 hours and I pass out. Me know that me addicted to it. So anyway me was woken up by my juniors in office by generous sprinkling of water on my face. And no I did not pass out cos I did not eat properly. I ate in the morning. Me thinks this must have something like women's period, you know where they pass outta pain. And me told you the pain of quittin smokin...

No seriously. The present awesomely sick physical state am in is what I call as Cigarette Aids. Now the reasons one contracts this is very similar to AIDS itself. But the symptoms are totally different. Symptoms: 1. Your throat feels like there is sand poured down it. 2. Your head feels like it contains water and your brain is a pebble which is moving a lot forcing you to hold your head with BOTH your hands. Just to make sure that the pebble doesn't roll away somewhere. 3. When you cough it faintly resembles a clogged toilet trying to clear itself. 4. You are basically feeling miserable all the time. And think why O why did you have to cheat. 5. You feel basically fucked. The wrong way. Causes: Now the Ciggie Aids may come due a # of reasons. But like Aids the prime reason is infidelity to your brand of smokes. There is only so much of fucking around you can be doing with the other brands before life catches up with you. But the best part about is that when you get Ciggie Aids. And...

All those who have been in touch with me for the past couple of weeks would have known that I was undergoing a major Identity crisis. Now major is most definitely an understatement. Most definitely. And then reality hit me. And trust me when reality bites you (me) on your (my) well formed arse, it leaves an ugly mark which you soon begin to appreciate. So yes, reality bit me and bit me hard. I think everybody goes through this phase where they question everything. And I was questioning who I was? Wat I wanted from life? And why exactly do I find myself devoid of couple of ears. And more importantly why wasn't I enjoying my work ( which am pretty sure anybody will give their right arms and fav undies for...). So me pestered couple of people who me think know me pretty well. Well turns out they don't know themselves quite well for them to tell me stuff about me, cant blame them now. Anyway. The most realistic and most depressing part of this bite was the fact that I wasn't pa...