Little Black Book

Well the picture says it all doesn it. My love affair with the cancer stick started in december 01, and it has continued till now, and i loved every single moment i spent with it. It had everything i can ever expect of a girl. From the strong fragrance, which mentally stimulated my senses, eased my thoughts when i went in my trademark brain fucking sessions, even though I knew it is gonna fuck me up like any other girl later on, I was jus in too much in love with it. It was what certain people like to refer as addiction and what i would love to term it as obsession. I started not because of peer preasure or any other whole load of crap people generally talk about. It was the chemistry few people experience in their lifetime with somebody else. Its touch, the feel, the kiss.... everything about it was soooo perfect. I never had to bother about not paying too much attention, or be dejected that it wasn't there when i need it the most cause it is just too busy to find time for me. F...

Hours before ( 16 hours to be precise ) me had my last smoke. And yes i had written about this earlier but the last time around I succumbed to the whole i need nicotine now phase pretty quick. And i have to tell you that i have a new found respect to those who have been moderate to heavy smokers and have quit. They probably went through the same things whcih am going through now. I decided that am going to document each day and charter my progress. At the moment, my head is splitting, and my eyes are watering due to some irritation. My mouth is feeling damn dry even though I have been drinking water and right now sucking on a candy. There is this huge urge for me to go and buy myself a pack of cigarettes and smoke them out till am feeling alright. But me won't do. Anyway am not stepping out of the office anywhere. Me gonna be sitting in my cabin all day long. Though I really don't know as to why i want to quit smoking this time. Considering the fact that am feeling shitty as sh...

Well, day 2. And honestly i feel miserable. I don like the fact that it is making feel like a woman pms'in. I mean sure it is nothing compared to the pain, but everything else is the same. Nish would know all about being the prime witness to all the mood swings. In the last 24 hours here is how I have worsened. 1. My mouth still feels dry. Even after drinking truckloads of water. Keeping candy or chewing gum. 2. My head still continues to hurt. Me think its begining to rattle now. Not a good sign I should say. 3. I crib and whine like a pussy. And I don't even realise that am doing all this till i saw my roomies expression 4. Normally am a hugger and a arm over the shoulder person but from yesterday, the slightest physical contact irritates me. 5. Did I mention my head hurts? 6. I start to think about things which make me laugh and the very next moment they start to mind fuck me. 7. Hate getting out of bed, feel awfully tired. Now I know how women feel when they having that tim...

Say or want to quit smoking. I mean sure I had fought the battle against my best friend. But in the end you really cant stay away from friends now can you. And i realised the hard and embarrassig way as to how much I need my friend. Cigarettes. Anyway so there I was Gtalkin with people and orkutting as always in office. And i donno wat happened next. It was well over 48 hours since I last smokes a cigarette, and like i mentioned my head was splitting bad. Anyway Me was supposed to meet up with my friends. And they been calling me up. Like 10-15 times and i did not know about it. WHY??? Cos i had fucking passed out. Beat that. 48 hours and I pass out. Me know that me addicted to it. So anyway me was woken up by my juniors in office by generous sprinkling of water on my face. And no I did not pass out cos I did not eat properly. I ate in the morning. Me thinks this must have something like women's period, you know where they pass outta pain. And me told you the pain of quittin smokin...

No seriously. The present awesomely sick physical state am in is what I call as Cigarette Aids. Now the reasons one contracts this is very similar to AIDS itself. But the symptoms are totally different. Symptoms: 1. Your throat feels like there is sand poured down it. 2. Your head feels like it contains water and your brain is a pebble which is moving a lot forcing you to hold your head with BOTH your hands. Just to make sure that the pebble doesn't roll away somewhere. 3. When you cough it faintly resembles a clogged toilet trying to clear itself. 4. You are basically feeling miserable all the time. And think why O why did you have to cheat. 5. You feel basically fucked. The wrong way. Causes: Now the Ciggie Aids may come due a # of reasons. But like Aids the prime reason is infidelity to your brand of smokes. There is only so much of fucking around you can be doing with the other brands before life catches up with you. But the best part about is that when you get Ciggie Aids. And...