Little Black Book

The phone rang. Again, as it had been for the last 25 minutes. Andy opened his eyes, blinking rapidly, trying to wash the remnants of a rather disturbing dream involving lumberjacks, Alfie and a rather menacing dog snapping at his legs realizing that the weird sound at the door he was hearing in his dream was the phone ringing. The clock mocked him, as its lights flashed 04:48, he looked over at Alfie snoring, his breathe reeking of cheap whisky and a swirling concoction of smells which could be best described as a waste treatment facility of a rather popular brand of cologne, as he reached for the phone. ‘This better be good’ ‘Good? This will give you both a boner the size of Mt. Kilimanjaro... We found another one… Is he up?’ ‘No.’ Andy replied curtly, clearly not pleased with the ill – timed joke by Eugène-François, a good natured Interpol officer who Alfie liked for the same reasons Andy disliked him for. ‘Well? Wake him up! He is going to love it! I tell you… He is going to l...

Apparently I can get quite narcissistic after I have had one to many to drink. Shouldn't come as a surprise to those who are acquainted to me and me ways. But what should be surprising is the absolute non - sense I tend to talk about when inebriated (when compared to being sober). To make matters worse, my confidante enables this behavior, not that I am complaining... Anyway, here is me going Guantanamo Bay on my girl quizzing about what every guy wants answers for... The size of his dick/wiener/dong/penis/manhood/spunk ejaculator in comparison to a pornstar.* PS: IN MY DEFENSE... I WAS DRUNK! PPS: AND I WANT MY LAWYER! *PPPS: Obviously since the results are in my favor is the prime AND the only reason this finds a place here. Otherwise it would have been trashed like an used tampon.

You know the times when you realize that you are an emotional fool? A blithering, slobbering savant who has had a pineapple shoved forcefully down his bottom? Mostly because you have wanted something really (raised to the power really) bad and wished for it with all your heart that the only right thing left to do for life was to bitch slap so hard that your intestines fused with your colon? Well, I am currently riding a wave of these times. And for not so strange reasons the movie name “I’m a cyborg, but it’s okay” is flashing across the marquee in my head. I really do wish I was a cyborg. Shooting m&m’s and farting out cotton candy. It would be brilliant, much along the lines of Sarah Palin being featured in two cups and one girl. (That woman has a lot of shit backed up in her body.) I really need to get rid of my dues, sort out my financials for the next 6 months and get that darned tattoo I have been planning to get. I reckon its time. It’s time I leave behind the dream of b...

Allo, I am not even going to bother to find out how long it has been since I last visited this place. But, it did seem that there was a long overdue update pending. So, here it is... If you haven't been following me on twitter, then let me quickly fill you in that I have quit my last job. The job was quite fancy, supposed to be related with "Innovation", supposed to be the latest buzzword and sorts. But, just like my engineering degree, the awesomeness of it was largely limited to movies and pretty much on the surface. The nitty gritty of it all, having to report to an office and do desk work eroded my libido like vaginal dentae. Not cool! Even if the vagina involved is that of a transmorgifacting Mallika Sherawat. Anyway, been traveling far more than George Clooney in "Up in the Air" and I reckon I must have surpassed the surrealism of "Up". And added to all this is the happy news of Kurian finally tying the knot with Becky which reaffirms my fa...

Sheila and me talk about movies, crying at movies, oxes and bulls being castrated. Sheila's obsession with peeing. Me not getting any action and male - female dynamics and why Pinocchio makes me cry. Among other things. Do leave a comment on what you want us to talk about the next time we do decide to talk about shit.

So considering how disastrous my first two attempts at podcasting were. I managed to convince Sheila to lend me a helping hand. I think we lost about more than two hours of our conversation as I tried figuring out this skype recording conversation bit which is a pain in places where the sun don't shine. But I managed to salvage some of it and whatever there is, it is funny. At least am laughing if not for you lot. Oh! And if you lot know of any good, cheap, marwadi way of recording skype conversations do let us know. Hope you enjoy this one. ps: We are after all bunch of n00bs. She has the boobies and I bring the nerd. So do leave your comments behind so that I can use that to get Sheila to do one more of these. pps: Oh! And don't forget to tell us what to do to record our conversations on skype without losing out on some massively hilarious stuff. ppps: we seem to have lost the entire review we did of inception and salt. That I think was THE most hilarious bit. So... d...

So I decided to give this podcasting malarkey another shot. Niall helped me out with the quality issues but suffice to say it wasn't enough to audio photoshop me voice into something Barry Manilow. After hearing this podcast, me chances of getting laid plummet from zero to -infinity.