Ran out of cigarettes, patience and resolve. Everytime I think I know the answer to why (why did I want to study? Why is it important for me?) you know the questions important for intrinsic motivation... everytime I think I know the answer, I don't. And this shows in the graph. Had a slightly better week than the previous week but still a shit week. This is the week of April 27th to May 3rd, 2020.
Its morning again, I can hear the darned birds chirping outside, with my eyes still closed I can hear the ticking sound of the wall clock like the irritating sound of the water faucet dripping. The water faucet never drips in my house, because I don't like it dripping, like the way mom's head was dripping blood, and flooded the floor and spoiled the carpet. I like everything neat and clean. My name is Amul. I believe my father was especially fascinated by the utterly butterly delicious girl. Though I have a liking towards her myself I don't like to acknowledge that to anybody. Though not many people have actually found out about this connection. But am aware of this because my father during one of his happy drunken moods told me about this. And those are rare cases. I know for a fact that even if am genetically part of my father, I will never become like him. I study in the 7 th grade. And I like my school. My favorite subject is math. I don't understand why people...

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