FAQs

I have no idea why, not that I am complaining but there is huge surge in the number of people who are now reading my blog. And this has been bought (or is it brought, will never really get the difference between the two) to my attention by the slew of comments, by different people, a majority of them complete strangers. And I always have the same old standard questions which keep cropping every single time whenever I see an anon comment. So just like every other great idea of mine, which seem to glow like those bulbs which I first saw in Archie comics (mostly around Dilton's head, guess that is his name, the nerdy guy, don't really remember it so well, read that when I was in 4^th grade or something, my favorite was Moose), and the idea stuck that why don't I get these questions out of my system, whether they get answered or not is totally different issue. Though I understand that the reason why people chose to be anonymous is either they are famous and want common mortals to be kept at a distance (at least that is how I want my celebrities to be), or they are just plain scared for their life (one of the key reasons why the CIA or was it FBI who came up with the witness protection act, fiercely guarded by Arnold Schwarzenegger, his weapon of choice being asking the culprits to spell his last name, even the word spell check doesn't come to your rescue). A lot of these questions are pretty narcissistic in nature, not that anybody who knows me knows me would beg to differ…

• Male or female or it?
  
• How did you land up around this site?
  
• Why do you bother to leave comments behind, I mean something should have struck (I first wrote stuck, but then the spell check prompted that it is actually struck, I will never get these things right) a chord somewhere and I would like to know what it was?
  
• Did you read some of the older ones? Did you like any of these?
  
• Do you really think I should write a book?
  
  • If you have answer in affirmative to the question above, do you think you can help me with it by answering whatever stupid questions I may ask with respect to it, and do you really think the book will sell, as in it will find takers, people who would want to pay money to know about my life?
    
  • If you answered negative to the question, why do you think people keep talking about me writing a book?
    
• If you are a female, are you single? ;)
  
• If you are a male, do you know any single girls who might be interested in a retard who is asking a fellow retard who obviously does not know any single women?
  
• I know you probably consider me to funny, you could probably tell me what exactly is funny?
  
• I have no idea why I am putting question marks at the end of each statement?
  
• You think I will ever find everlasting love (assuming that it is female)
  
  • (if male) you like Ajit Agarkar?
    
    • Yes – Awesome (and the conversation will drift off on how awesome he is and how everybody else sucks dick)
      
    • No – (This would be point in time where I think the guy obviously does not know shit and go on to have a verbal duel with him with me winning without even lifting my sabre and carving a huge ass 'S' on his ass) ('S' obviously stands for Super – whatever-has-caught-my-fancy-at-that-point-of-time)
      
• The previous question did not come right did it?
  
• You think my story will have a happy ending?
  
• I suffer from Borderline disorder, which should explain a lot of things about me, like my need to find a fictional character for me to model after, since I do not have a strong sense of identity of my own, BTW do you have any mental problems?
  
• Have you ever gone to a shrink?
  
• For having read all that I write, I deserve a fee, you have to tell me a secret which nobody else knows, something like post secret, and since I don't know you, your secret is as good as a stone being dropped in a well?
  
• Why did I just put a question mark now at the end of the previous bullet point?
  

I guess that is about it. By this time, either I am very raised to the power N, where N is tending to infinity intrigued, and the whole fun of solving who you are would hold even more.

OR

I have already figured you out and now you are starting to bore me, in all likelihood if we continue talking, you would fall in love with me, and then we would jump into the sack for some serious "love making", and then, because I already figured you out and you have no idea what borderline does to me or how severe it is, I would begin acting like real jerk according to you and you will dump my sorry ass and make me feel bad about what an absolute waste I am and what a mean, insensitive, selfish, <I really can't recollect all the adjectives, but feel free to fill them up for me> prick I am.

End of story.