Skip to main content

Another one of those posts

Where I am search for things to write about because I am so jobless because I am in office, and I came about this article in Yahoo, I thought to myself, I am pretty weird when it comes to noticing the little things when it comes what I like in my kind of woman. And this I say with all certainty, because everybody who has ever heard my definition of knock dead beauty which would leave my tongue rolling on the floor putting 'The Mask' to shame has that weird look on their face which either means that they forgot to attend nature's call in the morning and this realization is making them damn uncomfortable or, they are attending nature's call and they don't want anybody else to know and they are failing miserably because they know that the stench and that oddly growly bulge at the back of their undies would soon be discovered rightly followed by the growing wet spot.

My definition of awesome beauty in a woman – Short hair, nerdy glasses, dimples and crooked teeth. Don't ask me why? But that just does it for me. Anyway, so I was reading this article and I said to myself 'Hey, I am pretty jobless and there is nobody online right now who is jobless who I can talk shit with and I am pretty sure that I do have something to add to this list'.

  1. Hair – The length of it actually. Doesn't matter if the hair is curly, straight, nope, doesn't matter one bit, though women who have straightened their hair are on the lower priority and women who have naturally straight, smooth, silky hair are definitely on the higher side.
  2. Feet – Yes, any woman who has cracked feet is so not hitting any sack with me. You would be surprised at the number of women who have cracked feet, aren't there like beauty products created by women and men to get rid of these awful sights, obviously these women aren't aware of it.
  3. Eyes – There is no bigger tell tale sign that the girl you may be interested is a female lead in the new age adaptation of 'Psycho'. Always on the lookout for crazy eyes.
  4. The Bra – You can tell a lot about a women's psyche by noticing the kind of lingerie she wears (learnt the art of decoding the secret language of brassieres from a woman, so not only the knowledge credible but also accurate)
  5. The crotch – I don't know, I have this weird thing, where I can look at a girl's crotch and I can tell if she has gotten some or no. And I am talking about ever, weird but awesome power.
  6. The way she walks – A lot is given away by the woman about herself by the way she walks, if a woman is walking like a little absent minded professor, that is my kind of woman (yes, I know, and No! I am not weird, I just have different tastes), walking around with a sway, swivel or a butt plug up your ass, not happening, not cool.
  7. Make up – If a woman is wearing makeup then she is definitely not getting any from me. I hate women wearing makeup, nothing is more sexier than a woman sans makeup, ask any guy, and he would say that the woman looks her best when she has just gotten up from her sleep (women think they look the worst at this point of time)


 

Can't really think more at this point of time, I think I will get some sleep, just hope that I don't snore and wake myself up. See you on the other side of 40 winks.

Comments

divya said…
you are awful
Zennmaster said…
I think you have a typo there...The word is Awe-wait-for-it-Some... :P

Popular posts from this blog

Amul - A Short Story

Its morning again, I can hear the darned birds chirping outside, with my eyes still closed I can hear the ticking sound of the wall clock like the irritating sound of the water faucet dripping. The water faucet never drips in my house, because I don't like it dripping, like the way mom's head was dripping blood, and flooded the floor and spoiled the carpet. I like everything neat and clean. My name is Amul. I believe my father was especially fascinated by the utterly butterly delicious girl. Though I have a liking towards her myself I don't like to acknowledge that to anybody. Though not many people have actually found out about this connection. But am aware of this because my father during one of his happy drunken moods told me about this. And those are rare cases. I know for a fact that even if am genetically part of my father, I will never become like him. I study in the 7 th grade. And I like my school. My favorite subject is math. I don't understand why people...

A moment to Remember – They don’t make movies like these since 2004.

Can you recall the last movie which made you drop your defenses and your cynical view of the world and relationships? Can you recall the last movie which made you yearn for something which you knew was all reel but you hoped that it was real? Can you recall the last movie which made you invest so much in the lead characters that you forgot where you were and cried your soul out? Can you remember the last movie which made you reminiscence of a time when you truly and really believed in fairy tales? I do, well some of them anyway, couple of movies do pop in mind which might answer most of the questions I ask, ‘Jerry Maguire’, ‘Love Story’, ‘The Notebook’ and ‘50 First Dates’. But if you look at the release dates of each of these movies, Jerry Maguire – 1996, Love Story – 1970, The Notebook – 2004, 50 First Dates – 2004, it has been more than a decade since I have seen these movies.  2004, apparently seems to be the year, fairy tales for the new century were written and tra...

Happy reading... I suppose...

Hello! Been quite a while since I stared down at the blinking cursor. So here... Uploading ALL of the stories I started and left unfinished over the years (reckon some of this is from circa 2009). Not sure how long the download links will work for... So if you want to read something, reckon best to download them and then like most things in ones' refrigerator, junk them when mold begins to grow on it. NOTE: The work is not proof-read, so there will be errors, spelling mistakes, missing words among others. The Great Indian Mythology : Was supposed to be a re-telling of Mahabharat set in today's day and age in a tongue in cheek manner. But the more I read the actual original story, I realized I can't top the fuckedupness that already exists. But, I did enjoy writing few bits of it.  Will rate this 2/5. If you think what I have written is fucked up, wait till you read the actual story... Not the PG rated Amar Chitra Katha... Also points deducted because I didn'...