This is supposed to be a tag!

This is supposed to be a tag!

 

 

And I have no idea as to what I can fucking actually write in here, because this tag I am supposed to write my own shit up. And not just any shit, this shit has got to be fascinating. And it has to be 7 different kinds of shit about me from me. And I really was confused as to what fascinating meant, because all I could figure it could mean was if, I shit big diamond blobs and which being the monkey have thrown at my enemies out of which some of it has gotten stuck to the walls, so one fine day, when Indiana Jones walked and looked at the diamond shit covered walls all he could mutter was 'Fascinating'.

So I googled to find what did the word fascinating meant and this is what it said, 'Extremely interesting or charming'. And immediately I thought to myself, interesting, charming and me, isn't that some sort of a grammatical error there. Because honestly I can tell you stories but for fuck sake I will not have any idea if they are charming or fucking interesting. So given this handicap of not knowing what exactly is being asked of me, I shall try and answer them to the best that I can…

1. I have tattoos – 3 of them actually, one on my left arm, one on the flesh above my thumb and another one on my neck. Each one of them has a story and I think that is interesting.
   
   
2. I can't answer questions like what is your name/native language/native place/have you taken a bath/brushed your teeth – Because I don't know the answers for that, and I am told that people are supposed to know answers for these kind of questions especially when they are from India, if you reside in the southern part of the country then you are expected to take 2-3 baths a day, and if you are up north then you are expected to take bath at least once. And since I don't know if I have people find that interesting (charming am not sure about humans though, am sure there would be some animal species who would find that charming)
   
   
3. I can touch my nose with the tip of my tongue – Yes, it is true and yes it is physically possible by a human (I am working under the assumption that I am one). Ps: Ladies you know what that means right? This tongue can go places where no tongue has ever gone, a finger and something else MAY have gone there, but am not too sure.
   
   
4. I don't talk till I have brushed my teeth which I don't till I have had my smoke, which I don't smoke till I have had a sip of coke – I figured me not talking would be fascinating to some people, I know the guys sitting next to me at work would definitely find that fascinating, I think I can include my roommates to that list.
   
   
5. That I can speak to anybody and everybody from all walks of life and forge friendship – It is true I have been known to speak to completely random strangers share a joke or 2. But all this happens only when I want to, I can't fucking stand people wanting to initiate a conversation with me, yeah I am a fucking walking talking fucking contradiction (pun intended on the usage of fucking). So fuck me sideways. Gently and with a smile.
   
   
6. I have my own theory on the unification of quantum mechanics and theory of relativity – Though, I don't know how to do the math for it, and I am assured that the theory holds true because of the countless real life experiments which can be conducted to prove my theory. And because of my Geek DNA I once calculated a formula to calculate the time of the day by measuring the angle of the sun's ray. Without all the cosine and sine and the rest of the trigonometry shit. It was fun, then I got dumped and cheated upon by my friend and I stopped working on the theory further. And I did begin working on the theory once again, and then I got dumped again, so I figured that the theory is jinxed, (@M: if you are wondering why I did not work on the theory considering how miserable I was when I was with you, it is just that you would not have understood shit even if I explained it to you like a 6 year old, because sarcasm cannot be quantified)
   
   
7. I am the male version of Alice in Wonderland – I conjure up multiple worlds for me to reside in, a world where I am the dictator, a world where I am bigger and more popular than Hugh Hefner, a world where I am the greatest rock star ever, a world where I am a happily married family man with twin sons as kids, a world where I am an eccentric scientist. Give me any scenario/role/character and I would have a world where I reside in living that moment in that characters skin.
   

Think that about sums it. And since I am right now working (its 0205 hrs IST) and I haven't had coffee I refuse to fucking tag anybody. So if you want to fucking do this be my fucking guest.