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Lonliness


You know right now the song which is struck in my head is elvis singing " Are You Lonesome Tonight ?" and the answer is what any many with 2 dicks will say when the tailor asks him left or right? and the answer being "YES".
Its suprising how many people actually are lonely even when they are surrounded by so many of their freinds and it just kills them knwing that there is no one who can actually understand how they feel, what is further more suprising how these people (ok fine, i ll admit it, people like me) tend to find reasons to wake up every morning and take part in this charade called life. I admit being a guy kinda leaves me with a handicap on articulating my emotions and only in the lonely confines of my room can i shed these tears which are on the brink of falling down but it takes whole new level of tolerance to bear the pain the lump in your throat causes to you, I mean a lump in my ass or any physical pain for that matter is way better than the the pain the wretched heart throws onyou.
i think i understand why people tend to self mutilate themselves, it is so much better to actually have a physical wound which is associated to actual physical pain rather than holding this lump of emotions waiting to break through and flood your senses and I am helpless, and damn sure ill equipped to handle this kind of pain, physical pain is better anytime anyday, then there are those who feel otherwise and for those lucky bastards, i just gotta say this, count your lucky stars that you do not feel this pain, this pain which affects your heart and sqeezes all this blood out of it, wont know if people suffering from cardiac arrests feel the same way, then again that is something tangible...
I am wondering why i started feeling things all over again, i was better off being the arrogant heartless prick i was, wonder why... but then again some Qs have never have been answered, maybe this is one of them, even though i know i have changed am trying damn hard not to feel shit... cos this hurts and hurts like shit...

Comments

Vatsav said…
Loneliness is spelt with an 'e' somewhere in between that you missed :P

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