Friday, 2 August 2013

Pappu can write saala OR How I now call myself an author

Allo, Hi, Hello, 
I am proud and ecstatic to announce that the much awaited day has finally arrived upon us. I finally hit 'Send' on this mail, which has been festering, for months, in my drafts folder.
The news is BIG AND SensationalSo I strongly suggest that before you read any further, that you let this song play in the background and enjoy this .gif of a dancing polar bear.           
*Clears throat*
Ladies and Gentlemen, today, I get to call myself a proper writer. An “author” if you may.
An.Al: The Origins” finally hits the book stands. Now I wouldn’t be so forward as ask you to pre-order it, but it would be bloody brilliant if you did. Or you could just wait for a while and watch it strike a dandy pose at all leading bookstores.
Yes, I hear you. One question at a time please. *Adjusts microphone*
 ‘How do you feel?’ I hear you ask.
Well, to be honest, more than happiness, I feel an overwhelming sense of relief.
“What’s the story about?” I hear you ask.
I tell you that I am bringing the genre of Splatterpunk back. I tell you to imagine the Joker (the one from Batman) as a young girl. I ask you to imagine Sherlock and Watson or Byomkesh and Ajit as conjoined twins. I tell you the story is a dark violent thriller. I tell you that if you like your action violent, your drama tense, and your humor dark, then you will enjoy this book.
"Oh! Well, that's sounds... Er... Um...” your mind races to find the most polite response, and all you end up with is... “That’s interesting. What's the name of the book?"
An.Al – The Origins” I reply and I see you do a double take. I see the occasional roll of eyes and the raised eyebrows. I sense the casual step back. And I see you wonder, quietly.
And so, I want to thank you all for your eye rolls, for your exaggerated sighs and for your cautious silence. You made sure that I finished this book. You made sure that I was on my best behaviour and that I occasionally wore pants. You made sure that I didn’t drive my dear and a sweetheart of an editor, Gayatri to her death. And you need to take credit for that. You must. I insist. I don’t look pretty in prison clothes. And you know what they do to pretty boys like me in prison.
I want you to know that, when you cast your eyes on the book, and read the book jacket and wonder, whatever that is you will wonder... I want you to know that the finished product is the result of a LOT of time spent writing and obsessing over the story. Obsessing about which bits would make you want to put the book down. Obsessing about which bits would make you wish that I die a slow, horrible death. Obsessing about which bits would make you fall in love with the characters and which bits would make you smile and laugh out loud. Inside your head.
The time spent in writing and waiting, editing and waiting, getting the cover done and waiting some more hasn’t been easy. But... you made the wait worthwhile.
And now, you get to enjoy the book while I go and wait some more. Alone. In a corner. With some pants on.
This is as much your book as is mine. I did what I had to do, write that is. And now it is up to you to do what you have to do, read that is.
This is where, YOU, yes, YOU, buy the book, read it and then praise it (or hate it). Tell me that you are proud (or pretend you never knew me). This is where you love (or abuse) the finished product. But, whatever you do...Whatever you do... Talk about it, Facebook it, Goodread it Tweet about it... REPEATEDLY.. Till everybody you know feels the same way about the book like you do. SCREAM about it or whisper to anybody and everybody who listens or doesn't. Just don't be mum about it.
I really hope that you enjoy the book, as much as I have had the pleasure writing it.
Arvind/Athul/Zenny/Whatever other name you know me by/Whatever other name you call me; I personally prefer the-weird-one-who-hates-his-pants. Rather long but it sounds nice.

ps: Overseas delivery via Amazon, Flipkart and Uread will happen from tomorrow onwards.


Petrichor said...

Congratulations you!

Anonymous said...

Great Job Dude !! You have a penchant for writing..

Zennmaster said...

@petrichor - Cheers :)

@anon - Thanks mate