Thursday, 21 June 2012

Non - twitterized conversation with self


‘BOOM!’
‘I heard! You don’t have to mask your farts with the sound of BOOM! Even when they are all silent and shit’
‘But they are just SO much fun’
‘Yeah! It is. I know. I do that when I eat’
‘What? Say BOOM!’
‘Nope. I go Ktch! Ktch! Ktch!’
‘What is Ktch!?’
‘That is the sound of me eating.’
‘Eating what?’
‘Anything. I just accompany it with the sound of Ktch! In my mind.’
‘So even if you are eating bread, you accompany it with Ktch!?’
‘No. Like du-h! Only things which are crunchy. Like onions, lettuce. Tomatoes don’t fall under the purview. Chicken bones do!’
‘You know what?’
‘What?’
‘I think if I go BOOM! And you go Ktch! We can bust out a sick tune.’
‘Bust out? Where in the world do you pick up such stupid phrases from? And what does it mean anyway?’
‘You know bust out… bust out is just bust out… You are such a hater!’
‘Hater? What the fuck are you on? Are you drunk?’
‘Hehehe… Maybe…’
‘Oh god!’
‘Oi! Stop rolling your eyes at me. I am much more fun when I am drunk’
‘Yeah! I know. Like the time you dropped your pants’
‘Those were good times.’
‘What were we talking about anyway?’
‘I am not sure. I am pretty sure we started this conversation about The man who knew too much’
‘Oh yeah! And then you started laughing about cock’
‘Well, in my defense, that man has cock in his name.’
‘True. Can’t argue with that astute observation’
‘I know right? I am like a proper, proper Sherlock’
‘No you are not! I am Sherlock! You are like Watson. Or like Mrs. Hudson’
‘I could be Mrs. Hudson. I bet I would make for a sexy, sexy looking Mrs. Hudson. Twice as sexy’
‘Yes. Which is why you said sexy, twice.’
‘You know me so well!’
'I do. I really can't help it now can I?'
‘Hehehehehe… No! You can't’
‘You really should stop spelling out your sniggers and your giggles you know’
‘Hehehehehehe… You suck!’
‘NO! YOU suck!’
‘I do, don’t I?’
‘Stop giving me that perverted look. Twonkering idiot!’
'Why don't we watch Mary Poppins?'
'Because then you would want to start playing with the umbrella and pretend you are flying'
'It was so much fun'
'No it wasn't'

The twins mutter and grumble and flush as they get out of the toilet.

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