Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Butterfly flapped its wings and Roger wanked

Roger was a Don Juan, a born coquette, a charming lothario, well you get the idea. And Roger believed in loving one and all, which meant he was not really picky about his audience before he decided to drop his pants, flashing his enormous anaconda and his spank worthy bottoms.

Roger's education began at a very young age, and considering his syllabi, which had a single subject, 'Sex Education'. Roger proved to be an exceptional student of the subject. Finding his father's hidden porn stash was just the beginning of it all.

Till that momentous moment, where Roger discovered his instinctive skills with regards to sex, Roger was just like the other kids of his age, learning how to piss his name in the snow and climbing jujube trees and running after leprechauns and their pot of gold. But those voluptuous globes of delight on Miss April changed everything.

Roger's obsession with sex and the growing complaints from women who had caught their daughters and husbands in compromising situations with Roger started to worry, Roger's mum, Barb E., to no end. And with all news of sexual nature, it spread like a staph infection, especially in a small town like Batville.


 

Before long, Roger found himself seated in the psychiatrist's office

"So… Roger… How have you been doing?"

Roger just nodded to Dr. Hymen's question. Noting down the boy's reluctance, Dr. Hymen continued.

"Well… it has come to my attention, Roger, that you are obsessed with sex…"

Roger just continued staring.

"So Roger…we are going to play a game called word association…ok?"

Roger nodded again.

"Have you played this game before?"

"No"

"It's very simple and fun to play…I will say a word you will then say the first word which comes to your mind…ok?"

"Okay"

"Cabbage"

"Breasts"

"Pencil"

"Penis"

"Prunes"

"Hair…on top of a pussy"

"Roger… we do seem to have a problem on our hands here…" Dr. Hymen paused, trying to restrain himself from wanting to punch the kid in the face, "Let's try something else now…" He continued, still thinking if the medical board will revoke his medical license if he did punch the kid in the face, "I am going to show you some ink blots and you tell me what it looks like…ok?"

"Okay"

"Penis entering into a pussy"

"Two women fisting each other"

"DP"

"DP? Roger, could you tell me what DP is…" Dr. Hymen asked, hoping against hope that there might be a teeny tiny bit of hope to work with this corrupted son of Satan.

"Double penetration doctor… a man fucks the woman from top and another one fucks the woman from the bottom"


 

Flabbergasted by the sheer nerve and bit shaken from witnessing how corrupt the mind of a 6 year old was, Dr. Hymen shouted out "Oh I give up!" and he punched Roger in the face. And then, he ran like the wind. Dr. Hymen ran for his life as his virgin poppy was going to be molested by rogue bees.

Seeing the doctor run, Forrest Gump being Forrest Gump completely misread the situation and joined him, which only made the doctor run faster. Before he knew, the little town of Batville was nothing but a speck of dust amidst the storm he had kicked when he started running, and thankfully leaving Forrest Gump behind in it.

Had Forrest continued running after the doctor, his life definitely would not have been anything like a box of chocolates. There was however a huge protest which broke outside Forrest's house when he failed to credit Roger for his good fortune. Forrest was always a selfish prick. And then Roger punched Forrest in his balls, before he tea bagged him.

But that is a different story altogether, maybe, some other time.

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