Thursday, 11 November 2010

Random arbit thought starter

Been waiting in this airport for the last two hours trying to control
my urge to Christopher Walken on the escalator like he does in that
fat boy slim video. Anyway, while I was waiting (not that the status
has changed in the last few minutes) and tweeting absolute nonsense
and reading the undercover economist and thinking if I could afford
buying mum the iPod she has been begging for ages, something stuck me
and made me cringe.

The thought to be exact was about all things I have done for women I
thought I loved/was infactuated with. I reckon this is solely credited
taunting me about the fact that I buy things for women with whom I
have had sex or reckon high likelihood of getting some and not getting
anything for her. And this really got me thinking and before I knew
it, she is right in that cringe inducing and making your face contort
in a manner which could be best described as the look on your face as
you fight with that last piece of constipated turd offering its force
de resistance.

Anyway, here I list the things which came to my mind, am pretty sure
there a bucket loads more. And am pretty sure you lot have a list too,
but here is mine. In no particular order.

1. Moving to Bangalore

2. Buying that shit ass expensive dress. Make that two dresses.

3. Getting on me knees and then walking out of the movie theater
leaving M behind.

4. Traveling down to spend time. (reckon this is like the sun to Mum's
superwoman like powers to make me feel guilty)

5. Lying. - Well in the beginning it was about me being a virgin,
later on it turned into lying about the number of women I have had
slept with and now...

6. Picturing me life in a La - Uday Chopra in Dhoom fashion

7. Getting caught while doing "it" in the pub loo.

8. Me mate finding me doing "it" underneath the water tank.

9. Getting pasted so bad that I had performance issues.

10. Trying to get laid one last time before she got married.

11. Showing my willie while chatting on the webcam. (technology sucks
when it comes to trying to make long distance relationships work)

12. Stealing my ex - girlfriend's brother's crush from right under nose.

13. Getting caught by mum with me pants down. With not one. But two
women. At the same time.

14. Telling mum about every new girl being "the one".

15. Getting caught by her friends while we did "it" in her beach
house. (I hate locks which pretend that they are locked but really
aren't)

16. Crying like a little bitch in front of mum and friends when things
went down hill. And in my defence, I was engaged to that girl. And it
happened just once.

17. Mum finding out about my first crush and the lovey dovey shite I
had written in my diary. I wrote it with the diary upside down
thinking that I was very smart and it would like gibberish and she
wouldn't really understand it.

18. Sleeping with a girl and then her cousin. And not knowing they
were cousins. The cousins obviously exchanged notes. I am still
friends with one. So it wasn't so bad I reckon. But it's still
embarrassing nonetheless.

Well, like I said... This is all which comes to my mind. Pretty damn
sure there are bucket loads of them. Buried deep down my psyche. But,
let's not go there now. Maybe some other time. When I feel like
subjecting myself to more horrible memories and cringing while I wait
time to pass and a boarding announcement for my flight to be made.

Heading to Chennai now. See you lot later.

Cheers.

--
Sent from my mobile device

3 comments:

TSO said...

long distance *relationships*?! you were in a *relationship*. almost gagged right there mate.
- tso

TSO said...

long distance *relationships*?! you were in a *relationship*. almost gagged right there mate.
- tso (cbf signing in)

Zennmaster said...

@tso bwuahahahaha... yeah! I tend to surprise meself with the shit I find me in.