Saturday, 16 January 2010

9 reasons on what makes the Whore of Sparta!

We are all awesome and lame in unequal proportions, take Whore of Sparta who is so lame that he puts the 'me' in lame. And, if it wasn't for him then it would be just 'la' which is, er…um… for lack of a better word, lame.


And since I am bored at the moment, having sorted my laundry, cleaned my bathroom with a toothbrush and having gotten tired of playing cop and robbers with my roommate, thought I may as well go on and indulge myself with some intellectual wanking.


Problem on hand: What is that 'XXX' factor in Whore of Sparta?

And after a long dump while reading the taboilds, I finally managed to scribble down the list of things which makes 'The Whore of Sparta', who or more precisely What he is…

  1. Soft Porn – There is good porn which gets the little one to rise up the occasion and give a salute at the ingenuity of finding a vocation for the woman's fanny which frankly is not of much use, well, if you take out, peeing, giving birth to kids (that is where kids come from right? Still trying to figure out how storks do it… People really should try and figure this one out before they try and figure out how Santa manages to deliver his presents…)


    Anyway, getting back on the point (or the lack of one as the case here is) of soft porn, is that it is pointless. Bit like a lesbian with no strap – on or boobies with nippleage or the Indian Cricket team with no Ajit Agarkar.


  2. Lip Piercings – There is a saying in Hindi "Laaton ke bhoot Batoon say nahi maante" which when loosely translated reads as "Ghosts who have to get their ectoplasmic behinds kicked by Ghostbusters do not do well with negotiations" and in spite of explaining the reasoning behind tongue piercing and circumcised pensis, he is still enamored by lip piercings. He is into the whole night people phenomenon, well that's the only reasoning I can gather considering he sleeps 97.25% of the time when the sun shines.


  3. Public display of body hair – There is the horror and the horror. The sight of his T – Shirt riding up his mid – riff with the full display of his Amazonian navel is a sight which can inspire a few more soft porn movies.


  4. Cell Phone – Now the concept of cell phone holsters has been debated over and been concluded that it is lame. But, when the concept undergoes mutilation, which in a parallel universe where James Bond sucks on camel balls while getting an enema, shaken but not stirred, would have been as awesome as Wolverine and his Adamantium claws. But… it's not!


  5. Foreskins – It is weird enough when men talk about their shafts and masts, but when you are subjected to the "graphical depictions" of the circumcision one can't help but face the dilemma of covering one's ears or loving caress one's member… especially when one has only two hands. (One of the many questions which Google can't answer)


  6. Reality Shows – They are lame. But when they tend to evoke emotional outbursts from emancipated whores you know they must be doing something right. Unfortunately, what is right for emancipated whores is not right for the rest of the world.


  7. Stating the Obvious – You are watching an ad and when somebody says it's an ad you know you are in the presence of absolute genius. NOT!


  8. Insistence on losing virginity instead of finding lost job – Enough said!


  9. Shakes-spear – Ever wondered the ill effects of constant tele – serial watching causes to the balls of a man? Well, neither did I… but… It's a bit like how you don't wonder about Sonia Gandhi's sex life, but if you do watch a MMS doing blowing a lollipop in night vision, a la- Paris Hilton, you do wonder…


 

Now, I know this list in no way does any justice to the marvel of the missing link in evolution that is "The Whore of Sparta", but you can't blame a man for not trying.

10 comments:

Nothingman said...

ha ha ha, damn man, that was fucking funny.

Rock on!

N

Zennmaster said...

That is exactly what I thought... unfortunately #WoS doesn't seem to be having a good sense of humor on him...

Anonymous said...

piracy affects porn but it's still winner during the crunch


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killergram

Zennmaster said...

You, Anon, Yes! You...you came in contact with #WoS?

Sheila said...

Lolll! I didn't get a lot of it but Lolll always seems to work.
P.S: I don't like foreskin. It confuses me.

Zennmaster said...

@Sheila - What do you mean foreskin confuses you? I mean it's not like #WoS to ask you the same stupid question in the form of another question every two minutes... :-/

Zennmaster said...

PS: You should really be following the madness on twitter to get half the dribbling piss which was this post...

Sheila said...

I don't know. It makes me nervous. I'm always afraid I might pull it the wrong way or something. But I do like the dramatic visual that it offers. Ok I need some sleep.
P.S: I'm not on Twitter. I was forced to join twitter but I never saw the point of it.

Zennmaster said...

Foreskins are bit like the gears on a car... if you go the wrong way the car lets you know... :P

ps: Well hit me up the next time you reconsider twitter...

Sheila said...

Fine. Reconsidered. I don't know what use Twitter would be to me though.