As I sit here, twitting and deciding if I am going to continue writing "Alan – Tales of a Nobel Prize Winning bastard" there are a whole load of questions running around in my head.
- When was the last time you did not have to explain a lie you said to make yourself feel better after getting caught?
- When was the last time you feel asleep because you were in somebody's arms even when you were not sleepy?
- When was the last time you spent entire mornings talking about random stuff and not felt the need to call upon somebody or do something else?
- When was the last time you renounce doing something destructive but loved doing?
I know there maybe few of you out there who have probably answered yes to one at least one of the questions above. My answer to all of them is never. And for a longest time I used to think about the things like these and if I will ever have something special? And I had literally run through the whole list of "have you ever's" and "When was the last time", and I was scared that I will never be able to answer these while being true to myself more than anybody else.
And it really is a liberating feeling, being true to somebody other than you! It's hard enough being true to oneself, but being true to somebody else is even more difficult than one imagines. As you can make out, from the all this senti talk going on right now that the Goa hangover has not worn off yet.
At times it felt like I had spent ages vacationing, mostly because I missed my crowd on twitter. But at times it felt like mere seconds, (think this is what Einstein was talking about when referring to the whole relativity bit). Very few times does life give somebody a 2nd chance, but I guess I just got my 3rd chance.
There is a part of me which does not believe my good fortune. At the same time I am filled with so much of gratitude for all the things, especially the little things that it is not even funny. Anyway the pics will be shared with very close confidantes, as I am paranoid about this good happy phase of mine getting jinxed.
Got to go now, just been told about Adam's trip to the hospital, not feeling so good now. The buzz just got killed.