Listening to Metallica after ages. The one thing I like about them is that their songs have that magical quality of transforming their meaning according to the feelings and emotions you feel at that time. I was just thinking back on the whole change in me and the following lyrics crept in marquee on my brain screen
The trash fire is warm
But nowhere safe from the storm
And I can't bear to see
What I've let me be
So wicked and worn
I mean I am thinking about closing down the applications for Booty calls mainly because the concept of booty call is something which shakes up my foundation of love and sex. True they can be mutually exclusive, but for me they are always intricately intertwined. You can bang somebody and not feel something for them, or you can't feel something for them and not want to bang them. And hence the concept of one night stands and booty call does not really make sense. Though it did to me when I was young and vain and every new day meant somebody new I feel in love with and had sex with and wake up the next day to find that there is no more of that feeling I felt. Now, don't get on my case and say it was the case of lusties...FYI I know the difference between the 2. I would agree if you label it as infatuation.
But all this is beside the point. I am not sure I have grown into the man I imagined myself to grow up as, I am surprised as to how wicked I have turned out to be when I have tried my best to preserve my child like innocence somewhere deep. Wondering if there is a way to back track and wipe out all the things the grown up has done to give way to the child to grow up into the man he imagined and wanted to be. If there was some kind of auto docu shit made about me I don't think there would ever be a better band than metallica to draw analogies from.
The rise and fall of the monster.