Tuesday, 31 March 2009

Applications invited

Yes, you heard right. The position for a booty call just opened up and you are eligible if you believe you satisfy the following pre-requisites, also find the benefits (if any!?!) below –

  • First and foremost, you should be female. When I say female I don't mean to imply you feel like a female with a sandal wood and 2 lemons hanging out on your doorway, if you know what I mean.
  • You should be 18+ years old. A booty call does not entitle one to be labelled with the term cradle snatcher/paedophile/or any other term one would use to for people below 18 yrs old.
  • You should have had previous noggin experience. I have realized from my past experience that women who are virgins, on all accounts and have not been in a physically intimate relationship before suck in bed and booty call does not entitle to free lessons.
  • You should have something to do during the day. Job, college anything which keeps you busy till the sun sets down.
  • You are not, I repeat not to get in touch before sunset. Either by means of any communication instrument which includes IM, SMS, emails, phone calls.
    • You are however allowed one SMS which should contain a single word (Yes/No) with regards to your availability post sun down.
  • You are expected to understand that sex is a Chinese dinner and it isn't over till both the parties involved have received their cookies.
  • You are expected to be adventurous and taking initiative would be appreciated and rewarded.
  • Screamers are always preferred over moaners, though I would like to believe that there are no discriminations based on the decibel levels produced whilst in the throes of passion.
  • A sense of humour and post coital talk would be tolerated if and only if there are no intrusive questions. Though likewise maybe asked.
  • For every booty call you answer you entitle yourself to a booty call of your own and may avail them at your own discretion.
  • Being my booty call is a tough assignment which is not meant for the no stamina, missionary position only, no blowjobs rule book thumping women.
  • You would be considered and MAY be given preference if you and I have had something in the past. But there are no guarantees. Though new entrants always welcome.


 

Wonder how I stumbled upon this brilliant idea which is so stupid that it doesn't even have to be featured in the craigslist. Well, for starters, I am guy which entitles to have a single track mind and not be guilty about it. So whilst taking a shower (yes, I do take one those from time to time) I began thinking how bribing me with sex in the showers is so not the right way to get me to take a shower. And then I jumped thoughts again and realized how few women know the art of giving a good blow job. Certain men who I know are now either married or going around with women who give the best heads in this country and I am bit envious of them. On the other hand, I thought (yeah, I tend to do that from time to time) and I realized that not many women have had a good blow jobs themselves and hence do not realize the importance and pleasure of one either whilst giving or while receiving. Though I know women whose men have tried to be adventurous and have tried to go scuba diving, but when people do that with not the proper technique and people either leave hurt, traumatized, emotionally scarred or just plain hurt. Anyway, as you can see I am bored and haven't had action on account of exams and it really is not a good idea or so I am made to believe.


 

More on the ill - effects of abstinence later.


 

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