Tuesday, 18 November 2008

I think I finally figured myself out!

And this would be a clinical no holds barred statement about me from me -

I am defined by pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

* frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment; (Reason why I avoid meeting my friends sometimes, I call it preemptive thinking)

* a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation; (Ask any of the women I have ever felt anything for and they felt anything for me, and they will tell you that they have been the queen of my castle and my housekeeper)

* identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self; (Kind of explains my need to BE every fictional character I come across)

* impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating); (I got spending under control at least for the time being, substance abuse is a definite yes, tobacco and alcohol top the list, sex whenever I can get any, reckless driving - only when I am driving alone, can't binge eat, I can however binge drink)

* recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior; (Have found a way around that, the tattoo on my forearm helped me put a stop to that)

* affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days) (Think my room-mates, think more than them, Asif would be a good reference for this bit)

* chronic feelings of emptiness; (Which probably explains why I don't get action on a regular basis and why I feel bored so often)

* inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights); (Yeah, almost broke, not make that definitely broke my phone the last time it surfaced)

* transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms. (Which is why I say I can feel things at the same time not feel anything)

These are the things you will get to see in me and this is what you will read about me by me, and this is probably what you will hear about me from people. Consider yourself educated now. Explains a lot of things I have always asked myself from time to time. Free time in office does get put to good use.

6 comments:

Stranger in a strange land said...

You're like some psychology major's PhD thesis running around without any clothes on aren't you ?

Zennmaster said...

din't you see cruel intentions ( the first part not the horror 2nd one) ?

Anonymous said...

continued from the poast: Measure of a man------------call me the day you need a friend.....no romantic intentions for me......the day you are prepared....i'll give u my mail id..till then saionara

Anonymous said...

sorry abt the POAST...LOL....i meant post

Zennmaster said...

how the hell will i call you when I don't even know your name...though this would be a real good time for me to have friend...

Anonymous said...
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