Monday, 17 November 2008

FAQs

I have no idea why, not that I am complaining but there is huge surge in the number of people who are now reading my blog. And this has been bought (or is it brought, will never really get the difference between the two) to my attention by the slew of comments, by different people, a majority of them complete strangers. And I always have the same old standard questions which keep cropping every single time whenever I see an anon comment. So just like every other great idea of mine, which seem to glow like those bulbs which I first saw in Archie comics (mostly around Dilton's head, guess that is his name, the nerdy guy, don't really remember it so well, read that when I was in 4th grade or something, my favorite was Moose), and the idea stuck that why don't I get these questions out of my system, whether they get answered or not is totally different issue. Though I understand that the reason why people chose to be anonymous is either they are famous and want common mortals to be kept at a distance (at least that is how I want my celebrities to be), or they are just plain scared for their life (one of the key reasons why the CIA or was it FBI who came up with the witness protection act, fiercely guarded by Arnold Schwarzenegger, his weapon of choice being asking the culprits to spell his last name, even the word spell check doesn't come to your rescue). A lot of these questions are pretty narcissistic in nature, not that anybody who knows me knows me would beg to differ…

  • Male or female or it?
  • How did you land up around this site?
  • Why do you bother to leave comments behind, I mean something should have struck (I first wrote stuck, but then the spell check prompted that it is actually struck, I will never get these things right) a chord somewhere and I would like to know what it was?
  • Did you read some of the older ones? Did you like any of these?
  • Do you really think I should write a book?
    • If you have answer in affirmative to the question above, do you think you can help me with it by answering whatever stupid questions I may ask with respect to it, and do you really think the book will sell, as in it will find takers, people who would want to pay money to know about my life?
    • If you answered negative to the question, why do you think people keep talking about me writing a book?
  • If you are a female, are you single? ;)
  • If you are a male, do you know any single girls who might be interested in a retard who is asking a fellow retard who obviously does not know any single women?
  • I know you probably consider me to funny, you could probably tell me what exactly is funny?
  • I have no idea why I am putting question marks at the end of each statement?
  • You think I will ever find everlasting love (assuming that it is female)
    • (if male) you like Ajit Agarkar?
      • Yes – Awesome (and the conversation will drift off on how awesome he is and how everybody else sucks dick)
      • No – (This would be point in time where I think the guy obviously does not know shit and go on to have a verbal duel with him with me winning without even lifting my sabre and carving a huge ass 'S' on his ass) ('S' obviously stands for Super – whatever-has-caught-my-fancy-at-that-point-of-time)
  • The previous question did not come right did it?
  • You think my story will have a happy ending?
  • I suffer from Borderline disorder, which should explain a lot of things about me, like my need to find a fictional character for me to model after, since I do not have a strong sense of identity of my own, BTW do you have any mental problems?
  • Have you ever gone to a shrink?
  • For having read all that I write, I deserve a fee, you have to tell me a secret which nobody else knows, something like post secret, and since I don't know you, your secret is as good as a stone being dropped in a well?
  • Why did I just put a question mark now at the end of the previous bullet point?

I guess that is about it. By this time, either I am very raised to the power N, where N is tending to infinity intrigued, and the whole fun of solving who you are would hold even more.

OR

I have already figured you out and now you are starting to bore me, in all likelihood if we continue talking, you would fall in love with me, and then we would jump into the sack for some serious "love making", and then, because I already figured you out and you have no idea what borderline does to me or how severe it is, I would begin acting like real jerk according to you and you will dump my sorry ass and make me feel bad about what an absolute waste I am and what a mean, insensitive, selfish, <I really can't recollect all the adjectives, but feel free to fill them up for me> prick I am.

End of story.

48 comments:

Anonymous said...

:)

Zennmaster said...

Think the smiley you were actually looking for was :P

Anonymous said...

nope its the correct smiley ! i thought u will get the reason y i chose dat smiley....

Zennmaster said...

Yes I know the reason, being superchor I have super smart brains...Its like a gift...I can't control it...

Anonymous said...

ahaa really? u know the reason ? den y u thought i must hv used a wrong smiley ....

Zennmaster said...

:P means that was cheeky of me... =) is I am just smiling...

Anonymous said...

ahaa!

Zennmaster said...

too many light bulb moments for you today...:P

Anonymous said...

nope dis are things which i already know...so its kinda boring(me too get bored soon)...well now u will think how i know all dis things n den again u'll superchor brain will start wrking on 'whether i know dis anon o not?' ..so lite le

one who has read ur complete blog dosent need to know how smart ur brain is or abt urself.... hope dis isnt a tubelight moment for u!
kip writing always....

Zennmaster said...

I almost could not make sense of that...ALMOST!

So are you going to be answering any of these Qs is what I was thinking...it has been well established that I don't know you...and shit god save your company (since that seems to be on the top of your mind) if you have read the whole blog...I know one person who did that, and that person has turned into a stalker...

So you have to admit that I have grounds on being slightly (alright a lot) paranoid about the whole anon issue...

Anonymous said...

well dat was suppose to not make any sense :P ..rem i said i was bored...
n y god will save ma cmpny when i am der..i am always der to save it..not to worry abt my cmpny as i dint read ur blog in one day.....ofcourse it took quite a time...

n yes u hv all rights to get annoyed wid annon coments.....but as i always say enjoy the mystery of annon n not bug ur superbrains by solving it...n kip writing :)

Zennmaster said...

ok

1) you have to stop saying keep writing.

2) you really can't expect Sherlock Holmes or House or Me to back off from a good mystery.

3) I don't get annoyed with anon comments I am just little bit paranoid. There is difference

4) There is no 4th point. 3 points that is all.

Anonymous said...

ok

Zennmaster said...

listen I need a favor from your friends in mumbai...you think you can help me out...

Anonymous said...

i dnt hv freinds in mumbai....

Anonymous said...

shucks ! i never get friends spelling correct :(

Zennmaster said...

dammit...I am fucked! as in Royally fucked now!

your friends thing is bit like brought/bought and stuck/struck with me...

Anonymous said...

:(

Zennmaster said...

:'( Fuck Superman needs help... ASAP!

Anonymous said...

u got ur own friends in mumbai rite..the roomies u stay wid everytime u go to mumbai...dey cant be ur help?...dnt mind me asking....

Zennmaster said...

they can at max solve like 1/6th of the problem...my problem has 30 such pieces...

Anonymous said...

30 pieces of a problem ! superman saving mumbai dis time ?

Zennmaster said...

no superman saving his lardass bosses arse and his company's... think this news would actually put a smile on your face...

Anonymous said...

ummmm..bosses arse are meant to be kicked whenever u get chance...but gud dat u saving it...

Zennmaster said...

I am an agent of chaos...I thrive in chaos...killing him would just mean no more chaos...he is like the gay faggoty sissy batman...and I am like the supercool Joker...

Anonymous said...

i am inquisitive now ..wats so cool happening in office?

Zennmaster said...

well I should have listened to my mummy when she said 'Don't speak with strangers'...

I am not comfortable talking about the particulars of my work to anons... lets just say that this is the kind of work which was tailor made for people like me...

Anonymous said...

ahaa ! ...true u shud hv listen to ur mummy...

Zennmaster said...

but then again...I never would have been the bad boy I am today... :D

WHY....SOOOO....SERIOUS???

Anonymous said...

not serious..was listening to dis song 'Me ves, Y Sufres '....u know dis song rite....

Zennmaster said...

Yes I am quite aware of it...though I wonder why you would be listening to that song...cos that was my first tattoo...either this is getting very weird or it is just plain freaky...

Anonymous said...

dnt freak out...its simple ,i stumbled on dat song thru ur tatoo itself..long back when i read the tatoo post i wanted to know the meaning so i jus googled up the word..n as a result i got the song and lyrics of it...n 2day i felt like listening to dat song...

i think dis explanation is enough for u not to freak out...n give litle rest to ur superbrain.

Zennmaster said...

I quite like the song when the 2 voices kick in...the song lyrics are pretty much apt for a part of my life...

though don't you think this conversation on the friggin comment section is really not the forum to be discussing this sort of a thing...

Anonymous said...

but thers no option other den comments..n its ok we need not discuss zenmasters life here in dis section.....n i realised after reading all ur post n the song lyrics y u must hv had that particular tatoo...so dats ok superman...

n also i need to kip the mystery going....

Moi said...

*rolls eyes*

Zennmaster said...

@ anon - screw the mystery I say...

@ M - LMFAO...so when are you going to get your next nookie...I see that things are looking bright for you...and be careful you might lose your eyes if you roll your eyes so much...

Anonymous said...

nope i dnt want Sherlock Holmes or House or U to back off from a good mystery :D

Zennmaster said...

the signs of a good mystery is the presence of red herrings and ample number of clues... that is what keeps people's interest...

Zennmaster said...

you give nothing away...in short this is getting boring...

Anonymous said...

so dis is getting boring ..so dat means dis shud stop rite? well ok...

Anonymous said...

Wish i cud read smethng dis week...but no post :(

Zennmaster said...

You could...if only you answered those Qs...

Anonymous said...

its boring to ans all of them ..y dnt u specify jus few for which u want ans ....come wid few and imp questions..i wudnt mind answering
like the one "Did you read some of the older ones? Did you like any of these?"
[ans]yes i hv read ur complete blog..and i really liked most of them...:)

Zennmaster said...

1.How did you land up around this site?
2.What prompted you to leave the first comment?
3.what exactly is funny or whatever that was which you liked abt the WHOLE blog?
4.do you have any mental problems?

Anonymous said...

1.How did you land up around this site?
[Ans]through ur comments posted on smeones blog.
2.What prompted you to leave the first comment?
[Ans]its kinda habbit now to come n check ur new posts..n when u said u will be off for 3 weeks during exams..i was like shit i wot get to read anythng...dat made me leave my 1st comment.
3.what exactly is funny or whatever that was which you liked abt the WHOLE blog?
[Ans]1st of all i dnt find u funny (u try to be funny at times and sure sound funny )..but i like the way u put the thoughts in words...the frustration, the stupidity, the clashes in ur mind..n the thing which u miss lots...n u love to scare off ppl n try to kip them at distance..but dnt succeed in the end (well i may be wrong dis is just wat i feel)
4.do you have any mental problems?
yes almost same as u..but leaving out sme points like, interpersonal relations or recurrent suicidal behaviour n all...hmm well n i know wat borderline can do to the person..cos i also behave the same way most of the times :)

Anonymous said...

?

Zennmaster said...

well point 4 and 5 were pretty good... must say your analysis is pretty much up there...though you can't claim to have my kind of problems if you don have something even remotely close to the whole interpersonal bit...

Anonymous said...

i am not claiming nethng...i know myself well..n hey there isnt any 5th point, let me know which 5th point u were talking abt :)...
n i guess u dint get meaning of '?'
it was for y delay in new post...2 bzy?