Tuesday, 18 November 2008

Another one of those posts

Where I am search for things to write about because I am so jobless because I am in office, and I came about this article in Yahoo, I thought to myself, I am pretty weird when it comes to noticing the little things when it comes what I like in my kind of woman. And this I say with all certainty, because everybody who has ever heard my definition of knock dead beauty which would leave my tongue rolling on the floor putting 'The Mask' to shame has that weird look on their face which either means that they forgot to attend nature's call in the morning and this realization is making them damn uncomfortable or, they are attending nature's call and they don't want anybody else to know and they are failing miserably because they know that the stench and that oddly growly bulge at the back of their undies would soon be discovered rightly followed by the growing wet spot.

My definition of awesome beauty in a woman – Short hair, nerdy glasses, dimples and crooked teeth. Don't ask me why? But that just does it for me. Anyway, so I was reading this article and I said to myself 'Hey, I am pretty jobless and there is nobody online right now who is jobless who I can talk shit with and I am pretty sure that I do have something to add to this list'.

  1. Hair – The length of it actually. Doesn't matter if the hair is curly, straight, nope, doesn't matter one bit, though women who have straightened their hair are on the lower priority and women who have naturally straight, smooth, silky hair are definitely on the higher side.
  2. Feet – Yes, any woman who has cracked feet is so not hitting any sack with me. You would be surprised at the number of women who have cracked feet, aren't there like beauty products created by women and men to get rid of these awful sights, obviously these women aren't aware of it.
  3. Eyes – There is no bigger tell tale sign that the girl you may be interested is a female lead in the new age adaptation of 'Psycho'. Always on the lookout for crazy eyes.
  4. The Bra – You can tell a lot about a women's psyche by noticing the kind of lingerie she wears (learnt the art of decoding the secret language of brassieres from a woman, so not only the knowledge credible but also accurate)
  5. The crotch – I don't know, I have this weird thing, where I can look at a girl's crotch and I can tell if she has gotten some or no. And I am talking about ever, weird but awesome power.
  6. The way she walks – A lot is given away by the woman about herself by the way she walks, if a woman is walking like a little absent minded professor, that is my kind of woman (yes, I know, and No! I am not weird, I just have different tastes), walking around with a sway, swivel or a butt plug up your ass, not happening, not cool.
  7. Make up – If a woman is wearing makeup then she is definitely not getting any from me. I hate women wearing makeup, nothing is more sexier than a woman sans makeup, ask any guy, and he would say that the woman looks her best when she has just gotten up from her sleep (women think they look the worst at this point of time)


Can't really think more at this point of time, I think I will get some sleep, just hope that I don't snore and wake myself up. See you on the other side of 40 winks.


divya said...

you are awful

Zennmaster said...

I think you have a typo there...The word is Awe-wait-for-it-Some... :P