Friday, 24 October 2008

Off on a Legendary Trip

So, no points for guessing back in my happy place (The Airport – Flying to Mumbai tonight, going to Pune tomorrow, coming back to Mumbai on Monday and then finally flying back to Bangalore on Wednesday). And I realized couple of things;

  • I love having money and having people tending to my needs
    • Spent about 10 thousand and guess how long it took me to do that? 15 minutes! How many shops? Two! And no I did not spend that 10k on my tickets to Mumbai that is a different 10k altogether. And fuck! I loved the feeling of walking in a posh fucking shop, the shop assistant comes, I like few shirts tell him my size and zip-zip-zip "Pack it up son!" Yup! That is what I told him.
    • So in the second shop it turns out that if you purchase for more than INR 4999/- you get some INR 1000/- worth voucher. My bill INR 4997/-. So you guys would think that I would have purchased something else too to get over that mark so that I could get that 1000 bucks voucher? Show some class! Just imagine if you walk into a store spend 7 minutes and shop for almost 5k are you going to be greedy for 1000? I think not! So sensing the awesomeness, the manager himself came from behind his 2 way mirror greeted me, and insisted that I just have the voucher with me because I have been such a awesome customer.
  • I love sandwiches.
    • I just love them, I have no idea why I am drawn to the continental cuisine style but I love it. The use of meat, bread, cheese, ONIONS (I love them, when I was a kid and there was nothing to eat or anybody to make something to eat I used to devour entire onions raw, I was bred as one man army from which Arnie, Chuck Norris, Rajnikanth and the famous Vijaykanth frew inspiration for their roles and movies).
  • There is no fucking problem with the fucking economy.
    • My happy place is infested with people from the railway stations. I am guessing it is because of the festival season and everybody suddenly is feeling a pang of fucking home sickness. Grow some balls people. Not you ladies I like you hairless… (Say gross… I know you are thinking that! So just say it…)
  • I am kicked about this trip!
    • Why? I have abs-fucking-loutely no fucking idea. But I know I feel the tiger is back on prowl, hunting out for his prey. ;)
      • BTW, I am not sure if the tiger fucks 42 times a day or a lion. Whichever it is I am that.
  • Did I mention this trip is going to be awesome. I can just feel it in my gut…

Cheers people, await for the stories from the Appendix (I know it is the wrong spelling, I am trying to refer to that useless part of body which most people get operated and remove it) of India (Did I tell you that I really don't like that place so much, I get lost every fucking time, and if I board the local train then I manage to fall down on my face not when nobody is seeing but when everybody is seeing, can't really blame them, it is always funny to see the Michelin-man (me) take a tumble and fall on his cute behind).

I think I should make a trip to Delhi sometime soon. The heart of the country!

And no I am never going back to Chennai for personal reasons! Ever! Would you want to enter A hole? (Pun intended on the 'A')

And if you are wondering which body part I am currently working in? It is simple really the intestines… one of the reasons why my ever expanding waistlines makes all women (fat or not) feel really secure and comfortable around me, making them involuntarily zero in on me to seed them. :P



Anonymous said...

waiting with a bated breath for what you will say more....your blog makes for light reading

Zennmaster said...

is that supposed to be a compliment? man why do people forget that they are talking to guys and we are not the most smartest people on this planet?

Anonymous said...

well....go figure Mr. i am greatest....and ithe sarcasm has not missed me in your reply

Zennmaster said...

well considering the fact that every body claims to be the greatest you have narrowed yourself down to the whole wide world... nice!

so you want to play 20 Qs till I figure out who you are? if its a yes, then answer the first Q: Have I slept with you yet?

Anonymous said...

no you haven't Mr.I am Greatest( thats YOU according to YOU :))....that should narrow down the feild eh!!! lolll..well there are a few of us who an resist your charm...and no i dun want to play 20 Qs dun bother with trying-to-figure-out-part.