Friday, 12 September 2008

Some more excerpts

I was watching Bridget Jones Diary: The edge of reason, while the chicken was simmering in the pot for dinner. And I couldn't help but think back to the times when I have done the most difficult task most men do only once and a lot of men go without doing at least once in their entire life times. I am talking about the quintessential horror which has plagued mankind ever since the whole courtship became a formalized affair.

I have gone on my knees, to pop the BIG question to a girl, twice, well 2 and half is the actual count but will disregard the half altogether for now. Well, everyone involved the second time will know that it was nothing short of a disaster, life just played a cruel hand for which there was no better hand at beating the odds stacked against you. And like one of my friends who is growing closer to understanding the puzzle which is me said, it is long gone by and not to be mulled over. But the first time, it was pure magic…

Not many people know about the first time, the first time I gathered the balls to go pop the question to a girl, I had it all down to the T. And for those of you who wish their boyfriends go down their knees when they are alive and boys who wish to grow some balls, let me tell you the story of Athul and Dolly and that fateful night when the events scripted were way better than the movie itself.

Disclaimer: Just for people who are ready to point fingers, saying I am still wallowing in the post break up depression which arose 2 years back, this post has nothing to do with it. This is just a fond recollection of events which would forever be ingrained in my memory for the sheer romanticism it was studded with and the lasting impression it has left on me.

The day was her birthday, her 21st birthday to be exact, and like all the other birthday's I wanted this one to be special, though I do not have the faintest recollection of what we did in the morning or the evening, I remember me dropping her back home and then going to her Dad's office to get the keys to his car, (we needed 2 cars that night, considering that we would be picking the girls up and then dropping them back at Dolly's place) and I have to tell you this about Papa, he is the one person I can call as my own Dad, also he is by far the coolest dad a daughter can have. So there I am sitting in front of papa, and I am thinking "Damn, this is the father of the girl you are seeing, be careful otherwise he is going to be holding your throat in his fists", given the fact that papa has the deepest baritone's I have ever heard. As we were walking down the stairs for him to show where the car was parked, he asked me "so when are you dropping Dolly back home?" I was already shuddering, since this was the first time I was alone with papa he was still a girl's dad to me at that point of time and I managed to mutter "anytime you say uncle!" and since I muttered he boomed back "What? Tomorrow morning?" I was shitting bricks in my pants and I said "No uncle, anytime you say!" and this is what he said "fine, drop her off around 1 or 2…" and I am thinking fuck! That is awesome, will probably get some time to get some noggin time post party.

The security guard comes running seeing papa walk towards the car, the security guy asks in the local dialect "what sir? Your son?" and papa just looked at me and smiled that evil wicked smile and said "no, but almost like a son!" and honestly the bofors guns were going inside me, I don't know where but somewhere, and I was thinking "Dude if you don't ask her father for permission now, you will never be able too…" and I finally grew some balls on super speed mode and I said "Uncle, I wanted to tell you something (I was thinking, not bad my boy, being aggressive, telling and not asking), I am going to propose to your daughter tonight!" and he just looks at me and he said "now only?" and trust me there are no words to describe the things which were running in my head, after Gopal came and picked the car up (chuth, the car story is still not out) and this was when I had time to sink in about the magnitude of the decision I was about to make. I was going to ask a woman to spend the rest of her life with me. And trust me spending it is one thing, but asking for permission to do so is another thing.

So, there we were at Charan's place, me writing the card at the last moment, she always prefers cards which are written and not the ready made ones, and I was busy doing smart work which was plagiarizing some awesome song's lyrics and pawning them off as my own. And in the midst of it all, I was developing these alien life forms inside of me which weirdly made me sweat and curse a lot. So anyway, Charan, Gopal and me had finally decided on THE PLAN. Gopal was supposed ask the DJ to lower the music volume for some time and that was meant to be my cue for saying whatever that I wanted to say, and Charan was meant to do 2 things, make sure that I get time alone with Dolly, and also keep her friends away when am popping the question.

But then, Uncle Murphy from Murphy's law thought it would be a really awesome time to gate crash in on this occasion. So for starters, Gopal managed to bang papa's car leaving a ugly dent on the driver's door which only a blind donkey being done in by a dog would fail to notice and then that was the beginning for a hilarious and the most memorable night of my adolescent life…

Don't want to paste more the stuff, though if people are intrigued by the story line till now, let me know would act like a doggy biscuit for me to continue doing tricks or I can continue to play dead.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Try to make it more honest and realistic :P

Aparna said...

You have a tag waiting for you dude... do it.. :)

TSO said...

slice of reality, right off the sticky tar sidewalk. nice.

Zennmaster said...

hahahaha... TSO you so have to listen to this song called whiskey lullaby...am pretty sure that song is going to touch a raw nerve...