Just yesterday I was talking with this friend of mine who is eagerly his graduation in about 2 days time (congratulations bitch!). He and I had a lot to catch up on, and I suddenly realized the sorry past I had and how I was never like the way I am. And I realized how embarrassing and humiliating the past couple of years have been for me.
Believe it or not, I was not always this awesome as I am today. It was the year 2006, I was just out of college and I was working at this shitty night job doing cold calls, hoping that once I kick some ass in it I would be united with my then girl-friend. Oh! You don't have to know who it was, but anyway I will give you a name, let's call her (Damn! Can't think of any name which won't offend the other women now), anyway will think about the name later on. She used to say that I was a smart guy and that living life with me would be legendary. And I used to tell her just 5 short years and we would be living life and banging each other's brains out our skulls. I used to consider women as human beings and not as objects like some weird smart ass bugger. Just to tell you how stupid I was, I did not "do" her till I was really really sure that she was the one. Yeah! Beat that!
And I had my best friend who used to tell me to open my knowledge basket, and he used to tell me to forget about the touchy feely crap, "if you got money, you get laid, end of discussion…" and I used to feel sorry for him.
Anyway, I was really beginning to get the hang of things in my new job which I was told that if I do really well, I would be making enough money to buy an island for myself (where I could whisk this girl and live happily ever after), I wanted to tell her this story, but she was not there. Yeah! She was not there. So what happened next?
I finally managed to get in touch with her, and she said, that relationship is not the right thing for she and I, and that I should carry on without her, she said it was only 2 years and she knew we could make it. As I walked away, I realized we don't let life make decisions for us, life is what decisions we make, this line of thinking couldn't change things, I had to go back and tell her this. She was in the middle of a camping trip with her college mates and she was sucking face with some guy I know judge not lest thy be judged, but some random guy? Gross!
And I realize, it was not some random guy, but one of her seniors and they had been seeing each other for couple of weeks since then, she was just hoping that I get the message and move on to avoid all this and I realized we were breaking up and whatever it was with me was just a phase. The random arbit guy was Older, Successful, and am sure he bought her all that cool stuff and I was thinking "I love her" and I know she was thinking "but he is here with me…". She told me to do a job which I loved and forget about her. I didn't go, I mailed her, spoke to her, and suddenly this thought about what a hearty laugh both the girl and the guy would be having at my expense reading that nauseating teen pop literature which used to work.
And then suddenly the melancholic background score turned into one that sounded very reminiscent of Frankenstein coming to life, I cut my long hair, I started wearing clean pants, clean boxers, clean shaved, wore a watch, wore a belt. I know you guys are thinking, "Oh! You poor thing…" But, the story is not over…
We fast forward 2 years from then, and then I had this vision with me having a conversation with her.
Me: "Listen…when you left me for that guy, it changed me…Now I am this…*pointing towards me*"
Me:"I know it sounds crazy…but…I…you were once such a big part of my life, and it seemed insane that you don't know who I am now, so…Here I am…"
And then she tells me about her life, she and that guy dated and got married and here is the real kicker…she has kid. She has a little son named "[some name…really bad with names]". It's crazy, that could have been my kid, instead what do I have, my whole life, some money in the bank, some suits in my closet and a string of one night stands.
I know you guys are saying/thinking "hey, just cause her life went one way and your life went another doesn't make your life any worse…"
And here is what I have to say people…"My life ROCKS!!! Money, Suits and Sex…these are tears of joy, I could be cooped up in an apartment changing some brat's poopy diaper but instead I'm out in the world being awesome 24/7/365!" "You let me dodge a bullet, big guy" (blowing a kiss to god)
Plus, here is the mini cherry, on top of the regular cherry on top of the sundae of awesomeness which is my life. After the girl and I had this conversation, I met her and I nailed her! And if you are thinking that I am just trying to cover up some weakness because I had this profound doubt about myself, well let me tell you, the video is awesome on my phone. HEHEHEHEHE…
Ladies, Gentlemen…Charan, this has been a wonderful night, not only have I exorcised my demons, (I told this girl I ll call her tomorrow…Yeah! Right!) and I rediscovered how awesomely awesome my life is. Peace out Hombres!