Sunday, 24 August 2008

And am Back!

Well, almost. On the flight back home and I can't help but think about things such as "Fuck, why is it that I never get to sit next to a girl?" or "There are an awful load of babies on board, there is a cute one sitting in the sit in front of me, well she was not so cute 15 minutes before because she was bawling her eyes out" or "The only thing good in Indigo are the really dumb looking and sounding stewardess and I had forgotten that they fucking charge for everything"

Sample this conversation:

Me: ….
Hiran (Yes that was the girl's name at the counter): Good morning (all fucking cheery, sure you get paid to be fucking cheery early at 4 in the morning but seriously it was bit of saccharine overdose for me)
Me: morning, emergency, aisle, reclining
H: Sir, you need to pay 100 bucks for emergency seats, I shall get you one behind it because you look really cute and you make my panties wet
M: fine. Is there a smoking zone anywhere in this airport?
H: I am sorry sir, but you sure do light up my fire
M: Wokay! You are crazy and you have to stop smiling so much, I think I will throw up.

Though the trip began on the worst fucking note ever, it was not so bad after all. The crazy infectious laughter did some pelvic thrusts on late Friday night and early Saturday morning. I think we managed to make another cooking video, but this time it features a topless Mainak making chicken, Nikhil getting his boxers dropped, and all of us going berserk with some infectious strain of laughter. I believe the whole laughing thing started sometime around 2 in the morning, after Mainak and me had finished a bottle of rum, Nikhil managed to finish 2 cans of Haywards 5000 and Harsh just sat there with my aviators on trying to look cool. It was fun after a really long ass time, with the boys singing 'Jaane Tu ya Jaane Na' at the airport a la-JTYJN, or me suddenly getting a Punjabi accent out of nowhere. I was fucking sweating a lot, and considering that I had to manage with just one shirt for the next 3 days, did not spell good news to me.

Adding to really long list of woes, the security bastards at the airport snatched off a WHOLE bottle of deo, I mean who does that to somebody? So, on one hand I am happy that there is no girl sitting next to me, I really don't think the girl passing out like the guy next to me is such a good idea, and if he is not and he is just pretending and all the time reading what I am typing then fucking he should me smart enough to turn his head the other way around. I think he is passed out. And when the fuck will this dumb blonde Neha Shenoy woman come and clear this sandwich plate for which I had to pay a whooping 125/- for and they are not even courteous to fucking give water along with it. Hey, don't fucking look at me like that, fucking I did not have anything from morning which for me began at 0300 hrs. Fucking chuths!

Oh, BTW I unearthed couple of pics with me sporting my handle bar mustache and smoking. If you ask me honestly, these pics apart from having the super natural powers of giving you mind blowing orgasms because they have 'Booya' spelt all over them, they are nothing but that of a walrus with a smoke in his hand. No kidding, I think it is called walrus, looks like seal with a weight problem and some really fancy facial hair style. I have to start to do something about my weight. It looks ugly to put it nicely, I don't have to carry this fat with me anymore, now that the women in my who think I look 'cute' (which I believe is a word best restricted to babies and teddy bears) is the sole reason for the fact that their cloths are either too loose or too tight for them to fit in. Life is a bitch. And this whole abstinence thing even though is going swell, is not really going so well.

Calling out to all booty callers with a tight behind and firm racks, my place 0900hrs today. Offer expires today. Hurry!

Ps: This is booty call is really not going to help anything or anybody. But I am a bastard! What can I say….hehehehhe

Pps: Indigo women ARE really dumb, should get my hands on the eligibility criteria and find out if being a blonde, brains wise is a requirement.

Ppps: Think stewardess have a thing for smart, intelligent men. Works fine with me, now that I have my glasses on, things are far more simple now.

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