So jack (my imaginary friend) and me have been musing on how is it that we manage to get to office so fuckng late? I mean the office is supposed to begin and the last time one can get their tight firm buttocks in is about 0945 hrs. BUt guess what times for the last 2 months have chris and I have been walking in? Well if you are lucky you ll find me in office in about 15 past 10 or somewhere around 1100 hrs. And everybody has been quizzing me, well jack is the actual one who answers with all sorts of stupid questions: Sample this - "Hi, my name is dumb fucking blone and you are?"
"jack?" (he is awfully good with women)
"you look cute..."
"really?" (the rest of the conversation and animalistic sounds are censored... mostly because they can't be worded...)
So, when everybody has been pointing out to us that we been coming in late, it set jack and me thinking. Why? The quintessential question which is just like riding the bullet train. Kills all signs of boredom. And the answer came swiftly as I opened my eyes and jack whispered "dude its 11...you are fucked! royally!!!" with brimming grin, the kind where women are gushing in the highly controversial movie 'O! my gush!'. The thing is that there is no fucking traffic outside my place, unlike the old one. Its like fucking living in hill fucking station, you know with the clouds drifting in when you open the fucking tap to wash your face.
So anyway now that jack and I have figured out the serious reason as to why I am not able to wake up early and been coming late to office, and Jack and I have realized we are going to do shits about it!. Really why would you wanna get yourself out of bed anyway when you are fucking sleeping? Now, you would do something like that if you had a morning boner and you a sweetheart like Molly, KT or Brandi lying next to you... I did tell you Jack is a ladies man that lad... anyway! now that I have successfully solved this mystery as well. Time for me to retire back to bed!