Friday, 7 March 2008

Women and Shopping

I was watching 9 months the movie. Yes the same movie where Hugh grant needs the eyebrow thing which women do to weed out the extra growth of eye lashes on their eye-brows. And I suddenly had an epiphany. Yes, one of those which are very similar to the poles/walls you hit head on because you don't see them because they were right in front of you.

I realized that women are genetically programmed to shop. The first impulse given whatever the situation is...it is to shop...

In the movie Julianne Moore who does the scariest thing ever, (getting pregnant without the guy knowing about it) is discussing about how is pregnant and how she is vomiting and all that crap, and the next instant the other woman suggests "Hey lets go blah-blah.. there are so many things we need to get for the baby...shopping is going to be so much fun..."

I mean jesus fucking christ...she was what 3 months pregnant, and shopping already, really? I mean sure you are excited and your sex life is shot to hell and stomped upon, but shopping? really? is that all women can think about? the cute socks, pink whatever, whatever???

Anyway, the 2 women then go to the toy store to pick up stuff, (note to others: If you are going to the toy store, pick up a nice gun for me... I love them...) and their 2 sorry assed beaus follow them like all dumb ducks who are getting free lays with no effort involved...And then they get into a fight with a fake dino which was the only good thing about the whole movie, and then the woman screams and brings an end to the fight...

Nine months would have been such an awesome movie, had they just showed how Hugh Grant and Tom Arnold got back at the fake assed dino who was pretty mean to be working at a kids toy store...But no they had to show not one but TWO pregnant women...

So I concluded as the movie rolled on that women shop, at all times, they just need an excuse, and being the guy like all other guys I hate the very idea of shopping. I think the reason why men have not been able to find the gene called shopping in women's body is the fact that you can spot a fish in an ocean not the ocean itself. The shopping gene is flooded in their body, and since men are missing this gene along with many other things, like brains and an IQ (EQ for women) and just about everything which makes men a man. They just can't fucking see this.

Men who want to undergo the sex operation, instead of spending millions of dollars or how much ever it costs on medical bills spend the same amount in shopping every waking moment. And the times you are sleeping from all the exhaustion from shopping all day, then dream about all the things you still have to get. Yet. You would then be certified a true blooded woman.

And I think my belief in the scientific report about women ruling the world as men go extinct is getting reinforced more and more. I mean obviously being a guy I cant confirm this fact but women know that the world is soon gonna see its end, and they are shopping to stock up and shit, and men being the lazy bastards we are... well... we are just fucked aren't we?

Lets just hope that I haven't been such a big bastard or my charm hasn't lost its charm women flay me and sexually harass me and rape me till I give out of exhaustion when "Women will rule the world!" ( Yea! something like the banner in Jurassic park, not that am calling you pretty young lasses anything close to a stegosaurus)

3 comments:

Jyoti said...

hahahha...

dude...the movie is about pregnant women, unless of course missed the relevant title all together :P

and no way is shopping exhausting, its exhilarating, a great mood lifter.. akin to your smoking and drinking :D

onmyowntrip said...

@ Jyothi
I second that opinion .

Mr Zennmaster,
Women are no doubt a mysterious,unpredictable,sensitive,nonsensical bunch(thou can add all other adjectives)but we have the same needs as you do !
Needs to unwind , relax , bust da stress !
Ppl resort to sex,shopping,eating shagging! anything that can relieve them temporarily from their frame of mind why is that so difficult to understand....?

Sterotypical men-are-macho women-like-Pink is stupid ! Shopping can be fun when ya buying stuff for you're self or for someone you wouldn't mind spending on....


Lots of love (the pink colour hearts plz)
Men are from Mars women are from Venus believer !

Zennmaster said...

Hey...I am sure that shopping is pretty exciting for a lot of people out there but I aint one of them... I just find the whole bargaining and hunting for shit even if its for me...