Friday, 15 February 2008

Fuck... I Don't Like this...

Yesterday I got a call from me mum saying that grandpa(dad's dad)got a heart attack or something along those lines. Now if you have been blind as a bat or Nikhil for that matter, or deaf as a [fill in the blanks... not sure about a animal known for its use of a hearing aid], dad's side me and me have a non-existent relationship, so on one hand am wondering SO? and on the other hand am thinking, what exactly am I supposed to be doing wherever? and Why exactly do I have to come to Chennai ASAP?. Anyhoo, being bastard I am, am wondering if I will inherit anything from him or no. The thing being, am not close to anything related to my father, I have been living life that way and I continue to live life that way.

Its funny. Anyhoo...am sure a lot of people are saying or thinking " What kinda insensitive bastard are you?" . I got my reasons, but I would love to hear what kinda scum you guys think. Yes. I know I have issues thank you for letting me know about it. Now how about telling me something I din know. =)

Anyhoo... I am taking the first flight out of Blore to find out if he is still alive or not, cos as things will have it, "I need to be there and shit". But it perfectly ties in with my plans cos I got work for the majority of the weekend. So I peep in and I peep out. And am taking the first flight back to my place.

But on second thoughts, it would be interesting to notice if grandpa wants to seek me mum's apologies after all these years. That would come as some kind of sweet revenge to me mum. What would be more interesting is to see if my father cries or no. The only time I have seen him cry, is when we were having a fight and he was piss fucking drunk and he went on and on about some shit which I don even recollect now, but it sure as hell was frustrating.

Anyhoo... I bunked office yesterday, wasn't feeling too well, am guessing lack of sleep must have done me in...Think I would have to take the first flight out of Blore...And the only thing am praying for is that I don't have to stay back from work.

ps: I am still thinking on the relationship between me pa's and his side of the family and me.

pps: Yes I know I have issues. But honestly I think I have grown in a very stunted manner. I am more sensitive now, and I have become a sadist. Sad the way things come around...

ppps: Don't worry I won't do any thing wrong there. Though am feeling a lot weird, am thinking where exactly will I get to sleep, knowing fully well that the whole clan would be down and finding a place to sit is going to be a big problem, forget watching TV, I just want to sleep. FUCK!!! I don't like this....

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