I can't quite recollect as to the last time when I prayed to god. In the way people, the masses tend to, I can't recollect when was the last time I found solace in having conversation with thin air and seeking answers and feeling good about the whole exercise.
Last evening, I wasn't feeling good, not in the I-need-to-shit-but-I-cant-find-a-loo kind of way, I was feeling fucked in the heart and mind. And on my way back home, in the auto and in the bus I was thinking its time that I need a god in my life, somebody I could pray to, and I was wondering why do I feel the need now, how have I been managing all these years?
And then the answer bought a nice small smile. The kind of smile which is just powerful enough to warm the cockles of your heart and turn the corners of your lips skywards.
Now, if somebody asked to name one good reason as to why am alive and do the things that i do, the answer is Preethi. Now without going into the details of my sorry past which I carry around tattooed over my forearm, I have never been actually been able to tell her how grateful and lucky I am that I have her in my life, as a friend, as a mentor, as my godmother. I am not really sure as to why she did the things she did for me, but am not complaining, I know from my 12th grade exams till now, there is a small voice in my head which lets Preethi know that I want her to watch my back, I want her to give me enough strength to see through another day, and I realize that this is the kind of a prayer people generally reserve for god. And for me Preethi is more than God.
Am not saying that she claims herself to be invincible or without any problems, she has her own Idiosyncrasies, like her compulsive need to clean her toilets sparkling white, (her toilets are more white than taj mahal, and more decorative than the queens Jewels), a brilliant sense of humor, a laugh which emanates from the bottom of her belly and when it comes gurgling out of her throat you can't help but join her in this merriment.
But it is these quirks which make her approachable at least for me, and as cliched it may sound, the beauty lies in imperfection, the beauty of our relationship is not in the godmother-godson relation (am pretty sure Preethi if she ever reads this, she is gonna give me a call with mock anger and say "thanks for depressing me by calling me something old like a godmother, you could have just called me preethi!!!").
I can see the love she has for herself, for her son, for her husband. Even though she is one of those women who rightfully ask for equal rights, she is also the kind of a woman who understands that when her husband (Devi, who has by far the best laugh I have heard in my whole life) returns home, all he wants is a clean house, a wife who is looking fresh and is waiting for him and a son who thinks he can change the world.
Talking about her son, Rohan, who somehow manages to bring out this protective thing in me, it is he who lets you take a peek in how Preethi is as a person, as a mother, as a wife, as a friend. I have seen Rohan grow since kindergarten and I cant help but notice in the ways Rohan is growing, from the shy timid boy who had women of all ages calling out to him as cute, to now where they can see the makings of a love machine, (hehehehe... Preethi... Don't worry I shall make sure he is the coolest and the hottest kid in town).
There is just so much I can talk about Preethi, Devi and Rohan not to forget about Mimi, Manu Dada, and Solomon, but I still will not be able to do justice even to the tiny miniscule of how big these people's heart are. I just want Preethi to know that if she ever became famous and replies tongue in cheek to a question from a Journo by saying " I just want to make somebodies life worth living for" well I just want her to know that she had done that long time back.
To Preethi the woman who always be more than a friend and a mother to me.