Tuesday, 25 September 2007

Ek Tha Raja Ek Thi Rani

Well there was this lame arse story we guys used to say to each other back in School. And it went like Ek Tha Raja, Ek thi Rani, Dono Mar gaye Khatam Khani. Well today am going to fill in between all these lines.

Once upon a time, there was a Raja, he was betrothed to a beautiful queen. But unfortunately/fortunately the queen thought the king was a mighty bore and decided to elope with her chambermaid (you did not expect my story to be without the usual masala now did you, yes she was a lesbian sigh! lesbians are so hot, anyway.) So he was well fucked up. And he really was thinking why is a king and asking questions about everything and anything. Trying to figure out his life. Though the lesbian queen was a real good friend of his, she told him how immature he was and how needs to grow up and how she had waited patiently for him to do all that and then she lost it and finally turned lesbian ( according to her he was the best in bed doing all the things described in outer space sex which is by the way a book am soon going to be publishing about the delight of having sex).

So he thought and thought, and finally he decided that he wanted to travel the world before he decided what he wanted to do. So on one of his many travels he went to this brilliant place called Kasi which boasted of awesome pubs and he dreamed of getting drunk every night and going to bed with nubile women, but alas the country officials did not give him a visa because they thought he was too high class ( what the fuck did they expect he was a fucking king for god fucking sake). Anyway during all the negotiation his eyes fell on an angel, the queen of that country, and how he imagined himself getting the visa and then banging her brains out. Anyway as things would turn out, he did not get the visa.

So he learnt from his mistake and continued traveling in disguise. And finally decided to settle down in a fuckol country, because the place was so fucked up, he felt better about his own fucked up state. And he began writing in his spare time about all the places, and the exotic food and women he has tasted. And then one fine day out of the blue somebody sent him a letter, an anon letter, he could figure it out that it was a woman, but then one can never be too sure about anything in this day and age.

But they corresponded. The prince began to more and more wait in anticipation for the letters from a possible fat ugly middle aged prick wanking on the letters he was sending addressed thinking he was writing to a nubile beautiful woman. Anyway, the prince soon realized that he was falling in love with whoever was writing those letters and he prayed to god that it was a girl because he definitely did not fancy sucking dick.

So on the day they had scheduled the rendezvous, the prince gets a call from his ex-lesbian queen. And while talking to her he could only refer 2 things ( the climax ( not that climax you perverted chuths) from the movie swingers which is by the fucking brillaint, and the song by hinder ) And he realized a lot of things. He realized he was in love with this possible ugly fat middle aged man ( so that would have made 2 of them, the excessive drinking kinda did help the king in losing the 6 pack he used to bare to snare women ( hey that rhymed :D ) ).

So they met, and the first thing that crossed each others mind was fuck He/She is fucking Hot. And so they spent the next couple of hours talking and talking, and then they went back home. And lived happily ever after.

Well there is small twist to the story. ( no not the ones which women tie their panties in when I talk).

Suddenly he realized that he was a king, and the good thing was that the girl was a queen. The same queen he had wanted to bang her brains out, only this time he wanted to do it lovingly. Anyway. There were the kings and queens parents to convince and then there was the general public. A la Prince Charles and Camila Parker shit. Only difference was that this king and queen were fucking hot. ( They actually can quite easily be porn fucking stars). But that's a different story altogether.

And then they died and the story continued.

So the next time somebody says, Ek tha Raja, Ek thi Rani, dono mar gaye khatam kahani, you know the inside story. ( Hey there was a pun in it wasn't there? I wouldn't know because I just corrected by double vision, ok! got it. Bad one. Ignore.)

No comments: