Wednesday, 11 April 2007

Ghosts of my embarrassing past!

Disclaimer: Its ok, if you begin to think am a pansy fucker after this post. Don't really give a fuck. Me Lion of Sparta! Fuck off! =p

Anyway, on a boring tuesday night in office with absolutely no work to do, and my sleep being disturbed by the almost irritating sound of the others playing carrom in office ( its more like a club i should say, calling it a office would be disgraceful for this club). I began reading this totally fundo comic strip called Fart Party. Its about this girl Julia and her take on everyday life, and I gotta tell you she is funny, and what is even more funny is her response to comments left by readers like me. Hilarious.

Word of caution, if you are of the weak hearted kind, and are not prone to liberal doasge of fuck words, blood, gore, violence stay away from this. Psst: get a life!

Anyway, so she was talking about the embarrassing shit she has done in her life, and I thought let me do the same. And these would be the choicest and the juice dripping feed you ever gonna get from me. ( am not gonna talk about my more drool inducing sexual escapades, am prefer being a gentleman when it comes to these things)

1. I learnt classical music. Yes the entire sa-re-ga-ma rigmarole, went to classes, because there was this cute girl there, forsake my cricket during alternate days of the week. This was when I was in 7th grade. I was 11 years old, and I still consider classical music is for oldies. And am not old. 18 till I die. Quit ASAP. Lasted for a month

2. The first english album i heard was boyzone, a different beat. I know all the lyrics for them by-heart, think i maybe out of touch. But I still know them... I think. And that's it, after that I graduated to bryan adams, ricky martin, avril lavigne, before graduating to Metallica ( which i swear is the coolest band), now listening to retro stuff like Elvis, Bob Dylan, Billy Joel. Don't look at me like that I was in 9th grade. I prefer Boyzone to backstreet boys any day. Quit boyzone when the tape started squeaking after the millionth and one time I played it.

3. I used to play with barbie dolls with all the girls. Took extra relish in playing with all the little cooking utensils, and make believe world of cooking up stuff and serving it to my imaginary guests. When the girls weren't there I used to play commando-commando with myself and imaginary villains lurking behind the door. I was in 4th grade. And the girls were more fun to be around with than the older boys who hogged the bat and the ball and the only thing I could do was to field. And thats why I started playing basketball, I could atleast fight with the guys i.e when I got bored of playing Ghar-Ghar ( translates as House-House). And in my defense the girls were HOT, a couple of them atleast. Though I still like to play games with women, stopped playing with barbie when I was in 5th grade.

4. The first movie I cried while watching it on TV was Jerry Mcguire. Nobody was there at home, and I was kinda touched by the movie, I was in 9th grade. The movie still manages to bring a tear in my eyes but I like to pretend that something got into my eyes if somebody notices. But I can't seem to cry when am watching a movie with somebody else.

5. I used to eat red bricks, multani mithi, erasers, pencil lead, anything which was nice to smell or had a crunchy taste to it. Started before I hit kindergarden. Then my mum caught me and gave me a through thrashing, did not stop after that. Stopped after she dragged to me the Doc to find out if any damage had been done to my intestines, was embarrassed when my fetish was treated like a joke. Quit eating things which are normally considered non-edible in 9th grade.

There are some embarrassing things which I still continue doing but will divulge them when I quit them. Oh and there are things I will never tell anybody for my life. I think I may have told couple of people. But the secret is safe. I think. Not sure.

ps: anybody who is sniggering or laughing their asses ( well formed/not so well formed) out, you say one thing in the comment and I swear... I can't do anything. In the wise words of Julia herself

"I’m not really judging myself, just having a good ole’ laugh at my own expense. I don’t regret any of these things because, no matter how embarrassing they may be now, they led me to where/who I am now. which is a 180 of the above, but hey, at least I got here somehow."

pps: you guys should have a visit to her site. www.fartparty.org

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love it. Agreed :) Your buddy X

Ria said...

awwwwwwwwww......cho cute (cough!) ;D

please god...please!! unleash the locker room (cute?) jock too!!!

;D

p.s. dint even chuckle at this one... nuh uh! ( ;D )

Zennmaster said...

WYSIWYG....

Amrutha Bushan said...

I loved it.
We have similarities I say.
1)I had a fetish for chalks too.[Dunno really know if it still exists]
2)I loved playing with the guys [cricket!!! ;)] I was a supa-spinner hun! :D

Zennmaster said...

loved playing with the guys eh??? muhahaha... i hope you still do... ;)

Ria said...

:) thank you for the link... kinda like fart party... relate to julia

Sharu said...

liked this post...i shud say thats its quite a brave step uve taken to actually confess to stuff that u have....*applause*..

thanks for reading my blog..and u know i really held back from delving into topics on men :)
i can only hope it still managed to become a descent insight

nish said...

lol good one!!!

Zennmaster said...

@ ria... i think am in love with julia... she is brilliant... only thing is that she doesn know about it...


@sharu... you are talking about men to a man...ironic aint it...

General Disarray said...

Not really. Some men do get talked to, about other men.
They're generally called "friends."
:P

Zennmaster said...

and that is called gossip...

Ria said...

well... its like finding my very own live-reflection ;D

ive gone thru her blogs... photos...

thank you for this one!! do post some more interesting blogs!

and ofcourse... keep updating ur blog.. love reading it! :)

regards
resh

General Disarray said...

This has nothing to do with the post, but I know you'll like this one:

"The most important thing to remember about drunks is that drunks are far more intelligent than non-drunks. They spend a lot of time talking in pubs, unlike workaholics who concentrate on their careers and ambitions, who never develop their higher spiritual values, who never explore the insides of their head like a drunk does."- Shane MacGowan.

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