Monday, 26 February 2007

How Did This Happen???

So how did i find myself travelling back home carrying a pink box ( resembling a shoe box)which contained psychedelic sands of time to be stared at when am high in the infamous Chennai PTC bus, thinking I shoudl definitely start wearing caps, and god i miss my aviators! How did this happen???

Well it all started with a call. ( all these things always start with an innocent phone call don't they). On the other end of the line was one of my friends, a multitalented girl who is by far the cutest girls ( in a very asexual way ofcourse not cause she has an non-existential ass which proudly hides behind that omnipresent burkha but generally ). And she was wondering if I could be the judge for one of the literary events for the inter-collegiate thing happening in her college. So I said "what any man with 2 dicks will say when the tailor asks him the left or the right?"

Not that I had the world waiting for me to save it, or one hazar bimbettes spreading their legs waiting for me to do the needful ( ok not hazar but there are a few ) .

Anyways the thing about when you are spending far more than you are earning is the fact that you are stuck with 0.00 in your account. And some 12.25 in your purse. So i did what i haven done in a really very long time. Travel by the PTC bus during peak hours. There was a time in college when that was the only means of transport i used to take to travel from one point to another. And i knew all the bus routes returning back home. It was a running joke back then to drop me off at the nearest bus-stop and I ll find my way back home.

Its not that am cribbing about travelling in buses. I have no issues if am seating down in a comfortable seat ( not on top of the tyres cos then my not-so-long legs get cramped and my arse goes numb ). But i do not like it when am standing and holding on to rest, where all sorts of asses ranging from the flabby puke inducing old aunty or the firm tight butt of a worker rub against mine, and trust me its not something i enjoy. What i really would love is the rub of a soft firm butt of a hot women ( but then again you don find women who are worth a second glance travelling in buses ) .

And this is when you realise " Damn! if only i knew how to drive a car or had a bike" cause you see all those people zooming past you as you are caught in this race against the non-existent snail, and you are contemplating the logistics of the ride ahead.

So i finally i do manage to ride the wave of black and myself at the enterance at the college gates, and being a women's college and me being the onluy person with 3 legs down there apart from the security, who asked me where i was going or something to that effect.

me: Am the judge for one of the events.

watchman: charge?

me: no judge ( was frantically thinking of a hand movement to represent the same )

watchman: go meet him ( pointing to another guy whose mustache defied newton's law of gravity )

me: am the judge for one of the events here.

watchman: charge???

me: no judge ( still trying to find the perfect hand signal instead of trying to come across as retard trying to balance himself and trying to locate somebody who can comprehend english... So much for a cool first impression in a girl's college )

Anyway so there i was being escorted to the Vip Lounge, where am greeted by the fattest guy i have laid my eyes on, anyway the guy is supposed to be some big-shot ( big definitely shot am not so sure off ) in the film industry. And then there are the reception committee girls who are addressing me as " Sir" can you beat that. Me... Sir??? LMAO...

I would have loved to have a smoke in my hand, my customary rum and coke in the other, though when they did ask me what i would like to drink i did mention this, but unfortunately they don't allow such things.

So there i was waiting, for things to move on, when i come to know that there aint no participants for the event i was supposed to be the judge for. Not a big suprise now was there. so there i was laughing my ass off cause i really did find the entire situation hilarious.

So there i was riding my way back home in the bus, and making my mind to finally go for the driving classes so that i can stake claim on the car which has a speedometer which hasn't touched 40Kmph ( courtesy: dad ).

Oh by the way the darned summers are here again ( not that it went anywhere ) but yea i need to go cap shopping ( cause i think i lost my converse cap in my cupboard) and I need to get my aviators back from charan's place. Sigh!

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