Tuesday, 23 January 2007


Ok before i begin to describe the shitty feeling of being constipated i just wanna say that am feeling shitty at the moment and i wanna write something funny to divert my mind from the harsh realites of life. ( I think all funny people do that, even though i have non-existential humor which lotsa people like to say is pathetic to my credit i jus wanna say am making an effort. )

Ok so lets get started, all those who have read the very first blog, know my connection with constipation. Well what i intend to do is tell how i feel about it. Well the answer is simple, me not able to shit on a regular basis as the rest of humanity doesn suprise or scare me or doesn bother me about some impending medical condition.

I have known people who also suffer from it and boy do they make a big fuss about it, why is it that people need to panic if nature did not call them at a time when it should have, its not like you are nature's mistress and awaiting word from it. And i think you can say a lot about a person by his/her views on constipation.

Let me tell you all how i clarify them. Well its nothing rigid per se but its all about caliberation in your categorisation, some people maybe addition of all these things and more the thing being all these categories are not mutually exclusive, they tend to overlap onto other areas.

Lets take the case of people who think constipation is a big pain in the ass ( come to think of it, it is a pain in the ass, unless you wanna sound parlimentarian and say " pain in the you know where "), these people tend to be strickler for details and tend to be perfectionists, about all their endevours. They like to maintain a rountine in life, and even if they crib about their humdrum life, they kinda yearn for it. Their take on problems in life... well its something like making your food and then finding faults in it yourself, or is it making your food and asking yourself whats that green stuff down there after you are done... ( gross i know... lmao )

Then there is the case of the smokers where i fall into, these people are the coolest ( if i may say so myself) these people tend to take their own sweet time about things, but still they are kinda touchy about certain things, they are what certain people like to call as idyosyncratic. Thats cause they tend to have certain habits which causes the nature to leave all things and comes calling before you can call this " CRAP" . Ask any smoker worth his salt and he will corroborate my theory. They tend solve problems if they have all the resources they are not averse to facing problems just that they need their problem solving tools nearby.

Then there is the 3rd type, those who really don give a fuck about whether they shit or not, and i fall in this category too, i mean am really not bothered if after my morning smoke and pepsi i cant seem to feel pressure on my whatever organ that is which causes one to shit, i mean am not gonna put myself in the loo and force myself to spit out some turds so that i can tell people that i shat today, recieving nature's call and attending it ( there is a differnece you see not everytime does one get a call from nature and has the option of attending it ) it should be a joyous moment, a moment one should savor leisurely, and the cherry on the cake being the company of a good read, mostly something interesting ( which translates into useless crap ). Their take on life and its problem, " we shall see when that happens " and this the same attitude which they carry forward to all the things they do.

well i say "its not the guys shoes, the cloths or the company which tells you about the man but the way he shits " .

Check it up and let me know how good this theory of mine holds.

No comments: